18 September 2012

Guilty, Not Guilty or Innocent?

To reply "Guilty" or "Not Guilty" implies that we have been accused or have accused ourselves. From a perusal of the world media, whether newspapers, television or internet, we are exceptionally good at what I refer to as "The Blame Game". We even engage in it in our personal relationships - expressions like "It's all your fault." "It's all my fault."

When we play the Blame Game we are trying to make someone else guilty in the hope that we will remain innocent. However, the blame, and hence the guilt, we are projecting onto others comes from our illusion of ourselves.

The illusion of an autonomous independent self comes from the idea that we can be and are separate. Having accepted this as true we feel justified sitting in judgment of each other.

The problem with most accusations is that the investigation, the hearing, the judge and jury are bypassed in the assumption of guilt.

Having lived all my life in the Blame Game and its consequent "Guilt Trip" I found it very hard to accept the simple lessons of A Course In Miracles:

"As we do to each other we do to ourselves."

"We are all Innocent"

And because I found it so hard to accept I've added lots of quotations (without the quotation marks). These have been slightly edited to change "I mine you and yours" into us and ours. I declined the temptation to edit the words God, Father, Son of God, Christ. God's Final Judgment has already been delivered to us. All we have to do is accept it.

This is God's Final Judgment: "You are still My holy Son, forever innocent, forever loving and forever loved, as limitless as your Creator, and completely changeless and forever pure. Therefore awaken and return to Me. I am your Father and you are My Son."

Our innocence protects us from all harm. Our innocence ensures us perfect peace, eternal safety, everlasting love, freedom forever from all thought of loss; complete deliverance from suffering. And only happiness can be our state, for only happiness is given us.

What must we do to know all this is ours? We must accept that we are all One, and nothing more. God has already done all things that need be done. And we must learn we need do nothing, for we need but accept our Self, our innocence, created for us, now already ours, to feel God's Love protecting us from harm, to understand our Father loves His Son; to know we are the Son our Father loves. God Who created us in innocence is not mistaken about what we are. We were mistaken when we thought we sinned, but we accept that we are One with God and with each other.

The self we made is not the Son of God. Therefore, this self does not exist at all. And anything it seems to do and think means nothing. It is neither bad nor good. It is unreal, and nothing more than that. It does not battle with the Son of God. It does not hurt him, nor attack his peace. It has not changed creation, nor reduced eternal innocence to sin, and love to hate. What power can this self we made possess, when it would contradict the Will of God?

Our innocence is guaranteed by God. Over and over this must be repeated, until it is accepted. It is true. Our innocence is guaranteed by God. Nothing can touch it, or change what God created as eternal. The self we made, evil and full of sin, is meaningless. Our innocence is guaranteed by God, and light and joy and peace abide in us.

True light is strength, and strength is innocence. If we remain as God created us, we must be strong and light must be in us. God Who ensured our innocence must be the guarantee of strength and light as well. We are as God created us. Darkness cannot obscure the glory of God's Son. We stand in light, strong in the innocence in which we were created, and in which we will remain throughout eternity.

Give me your blessing, holy Son of God.
I would behold you with the eyes of Christ,
and see my perfect innocence in you.

Remove our focus on our brother's sins, and we experience the peace that comes from faith in innocence. This faith receives its only sure support from what we see in others past their sins. For their mistakes, if focused on, are witnesses to our guilt. And we will not transcend their sight and see the innocence that lies beyond.

We first let all such little focuses give way to our great need to let our innocence become apparent. We instruct our minds that it is this we seek, and only this, for just a little while. We do not care about our future goals. And what we saw an instant previous has no concern for us within this interval of time wherein we practice changing our intent. We seek for innocence and nothing else. We seek for it with no concern but now.

The world which once proclaimed our guilt becomes the proof that we are innocent. And our love for everyone we look upon attests to our remembrance of the holy Self which knows no guilt, and never could conceive of anything without Its innocence. We seek for this remembrance as we turn our minds to practicing today. We look neither ahead nor backwards. We look straight into the present. And we give our trust to the experience we ask for now. Our innocence is but the Will of God. This instant is our willing one with His.

Our Father, let us see the face of Christ instead of our mistakes. For we who are Your holy Son are innocent. We would look upon our innocence, for guilt proclaims that we are not Your Son.

And we need but remember that God's Love surrounds His Son and keeps our innocence forever perfect, to be sure that we are saved and safe forever in His Arms. We are the Son He loves. And we are saved because God in His mercy wills it so.

Father, Your Holiness is ours. Your Love created us, and made our innocence forever part of You. We have no guilt in us, for there is none in You.

Father, there is a vision which beholds all things as innocent, so that fear has gone, and where it was is love invited in. And love will come wherever it is asked. This vision is Your gift. The eyes of Christ look on a world forgiven. In His sight are all its sins forgiven, for He sees no sin in anything He looks upon. Now let His true perception come to us, that we may waken from the dream of sin and look within upon our innocence, which You have kept completely undefiled upon the altar to Your holy Son, the Self with which we would identify.

Forgiveness is a choice. We never see our brother as he is, for that is far beyond perception. What we see in him is merely what we wish to see, because it stands for what we want to be the truth. It is to this alone that we respond, however much we seem to be impelled by outside happenings. We choose to see what we would look upon, and this we see, and only this. Our brother's innocence shows us that we would look upon our own. And we will see it, having chosen to behold our brother in its holy light.

What could restore Your memory to us, except to see our brother's innocence? His holiness reminds us that he was created one with us, and like ourself. In him we find our Self, and in Your Son we find the memory of You as well.

Who is our brother but Your holy Son? And if we see him guilty we proclaim ourself guilty, not a Son of God; alone and friendless in a fearful world. Yet this perception is a choice we make, and can relinquish. We can also see our brother sinless, as Your holy Son. And with this choice we see our innocence, our everlasting Comforter and Friend beside us, and our way secure and clear. Choose, then, for us, our Father, through Your Voice. For He alone gives judgment in Your Name.

No one can escape God's Final Judgment.  Who could flee forever from the truth? But the Final Judgment will not come until it is no longer associated with fear. One day each of us will welcome it, and on that very day it will be given us. We will hear our innocence proclaimed around and around the world, setting it free as God's Final Judgment on us is received. This is the Judgment in which salvation lies. This is the Judgment that will set us free. This is the Judgment in which all things are freed with us. Time pauses as eternity comes near, and silence lies across the world that everyone may hear this Judgment of the Son of God:

Holy are you, eternal, free and whole,
at peace forever in the Heart of God.
Where is the world, and where is sorrow now?

Is this our judgment on ourself, teacher of God? Do we believe that this is wholly true? No; not yet, not yet. But this is still our goal; why we are here. It is our function to prepare ourself to hear this Judgment and to recognize that it is true. One instant of complete belief in this, and we will go beyond belief to Certainty. One instant out of time can bring time's end. Judge not, for we but judge ourself, and thus delay this Final Judgment. What is our judgment of the world, teacher of God? Have we yet learned to stand aside and hear the Voice of Judgment in ourself? Or do we still attempt to take His role from Him? Learn to be quiet, for His Voice is heard in stillness. And His Judgment comes to all who stand aside in quiet listening, and wait for Him.

We who are sometimes sad and sometimes angry; who sometimes feel our just due is not given us, and our best efforts meet with lack of appreciation and even contempt; give up these foolish thoughts! They are too small and meaningless to occupy our holy mind an instant longer. God's Judgment waits for us to set us free. What can the world hold out to us, regardless of our judgments on its gifts, that we would rather have? We will be judged, and judged in fairness and in honesty. There is no deceit in God. His promises are sure. Only remember that. His promises have guaranteed His Judgment, and His alone, will be accepted in the end. It is our function to make that end be soon. It is our function to hold it to our heart, and offer it to all the world to keep it safe.

10 July 2012

Creationright 3 July 2012 ex?Peace

The Law of Love - your gift from your creation

There is only one law and that is the law of love. Really love is all there is.

Love Yourself.

Use your neighbours as your witnesses to which law you buy into, the Law of Love or the laws of futility.

For those of you who want or like references, Luke 10.27; A Course In Miracles, lessons 67, 229, 267.

The Laws of Futility 2 July 2012 ex?Peace

The futility of ego-based perspective

"Ego" is that part of mind that believes that it is separate from mind.

  1. We will always be learning -- No matter how much the ego learns it can never know.
  2. We will always want more -- No matter how much we do, have or give it will never be enough.
  3. We will always be bodies -- No matter how close we bring our bodies to each other we can never become one.
  4. We will always mis-interpret -- No matter how many images, symbols, words or languages we master we can never truly communicate.

I am that which thinks that it is separate from everyone and everything else.

I use words, sound vibrations and body movements to deliver what I think and feel.

I am not a singularity, I am not special, I am not unique. I am a multi-personality fictional concoction of past lives, histories, traditions and superstitions delivered to me from all my ancestors through my mother and my father, my aunts and uncles, my brothers and my sisters, my teachers and my neighbours.

PS: This is based on my birthright as Brian O Dowd. This identity is false. My real Identity is based on my creationright.

A Course in Miracles - our best buy ever 20 June 2012 ex?Peace

Back in 1996 when Dervish was Crystal Connection and was located on Paul Street we went in to do some Christmas shopping. Mary asked Jonathan for something light to read over our Christmas Holidays in Kerry. Jokingly, I think, Jonathan placed A Course In Miracles on the counter along with some other stuff we were buying. Without even looking at it Mary bought it. We brought it to Kerry and brought it home without even looking at it.

It had been recommended to me a few times but whenever I went to buy it the language in it put me off. Sometime in January my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to read the introduction. Needless to say I was fascinated. So I started reading the text, doing the lessons and reading the supplementary texts all at the same time.

I finished the 365 lessons in 375 days - that's dedication for you. And kept studying the text for a further 9 years. I then decided that I had enough. I dropped it, but not what I had learned from it. A couple of years later the word "meaningless" started popping into my head. "Ah ha" I said that's from A Course In Miracles. So I started doing the lessons again.

No stampede this time, I decided, just take them easy. Two and a half years later I'm up to lesson 325. This time around it made a lot more sense.

So after that long preamble we get to what struck me about lesson 325. It's the best explanation I've ever come across for what's going on in our minds and in the world. The following is extracted from the lesson.

"What I see reflects a process in my mind, which starts with my idea of what I want. From there, the mind makes up an image of the thing the mind desires, judges valuable, and therefore seeks to find. These images are then projected outward, looked upon, esteemed as real and guarded as one's own. From insane wishes comes an insane world. From judgment comes a world condemned. And from forgiving thoughts a gentle world comes forth...

Choose wisely!

Relationship with God 6 June 2012 ex?Peace

Take your relationship with God personally, for ultimately it is the only one you've got. All others are training. These teach us that our belief in separation cannot be overcome by getting physically closer to each other. We can only really communicate with our minds. Our minds are limitless. We are as God created us. We are the Holy Sons of God Himself. Call your witnesses. See enemies, see separation. See friends, see Oneness.

All Gifts Belong to All 17 May 2012 ex?Peace

Around the middle of the Twentieth Century child psychologists came up with the idea of 'dual unity' based on observations of children with their parents, primarily their mothers. This was a very special time for us as children. As far as we were concerned there was only one other person in the universe and we believed that we were totally special to that person.

As we grew older we discovered that there were other people in her life - maybe the arrival of a younger sibling or maybe we just began to notice that there were other people in her life.

We got to a stage where we were on our own. As we got older still we began to form our own special relationships, possibly in an attempt to get back the feeling of dual unity, of being the only person in the world that mattered to someone else.

Are we being selfish when we limit ourselves to special relationships? Yes! But these special relationships are where we learn most about our selves, where, when the going gets tough, we hang in there and ask ourselves the basic questions about life in this world and our part in it.

When I was growing up being selfish was regarded as the worst offence we could commit. The following two lessons from A Course in Miracles seem to be so selfish.

Lesson 315: All gifts my brothers give belong to me.
Lesson 316: All gifts I give my brothers are my own.

It sounds like everything revolves around me and, I suppose, if we regard ourselves as separate beings, and accept the idea of an omni-centric universe, then it does.

The lessons, however, are getting across a different idea. We are all one, there is no separation. So every smile we share, every kind thought we offer each other is shared with everyone everywhere.

Special and General Relationships 16 May 2012 ex?Peace

When I first came across Einstein's theories of relativity I thought they had to do with relationships. Well, not really. There's a special one and a general one. We all spend our lives looking for special relationships - soul mate, spirit mate... We keep looking for that special person, or sometimes thing, that will make our lives complete.

We have a relationship with everyone on the planet and with everything in the universe. We are all one. And every gift we have is shared with everyone else.

This idea that we all own everything is impossible for someone who totally believes in separation to accept. We tend to think of gifts as things we give to each other. However, if we think of them as ideas then its easy to see that they can be shared without us losing them. In fact, the more we share our ideas the more they grow in us.

Present Opportunities 24 April 2012 exLJ

How Long is a split second?

It depends!

The assumed average is about 0.1 seconds. So, a split second decision takes us on average one tenth of a second.

The reason I ask and answer is that I've always been fascinated by the present and how to live totally in it. I'm writing this now and you are reading it now, but the two nows are different.

When I want to exercise my old grey matter I start doing arithmetic calculations in my head. This morning's (now-then-past) one was how many opportunities I had to become present. In every second I have ten, in every minute 600 in every hour 36,000 and in every day 864,000. That's as far as I got with the mental arithmetic.

I had to resort to a calculator to figure out how many opportunities there are in a year. There are 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes, 46 seconds in a year and that means there are 315, 569, 260 opportunities every year to become present.

Most of these we miss by reviewing the past or rehearsing the future. In the present we have the ability to choose, to make a decision about what we really want out of our lives.

I want eternal peace, I want heaven and the only way to get these is in the present. I suppose that when I don't get what I want I can always...

Choose again!

Forgiveness Gifts 10 April 2012 ex?Peace

A Course In Miracles, Lesson 297 states "Forgiveness is the only gift I give." In one of my early posts I offered a blessing. This blessing contains the gifts of God - Love, Life, Light, Peace, Joy, Truth, Power, Strength, Free, Safe, Open, and Holy.

The gifts God gives are given to His Creation. I, the part of me, that believes I'm separate cannot offer these gifts because I see myself as separate from Creation. However, I don't have to offer them because God has already given them to everyone and everything.

What I can offer is forgiveness because that is a function of the separate part of me. I forgive the world and I forgive myself.

Forgiveness used to mean to me that I had to prostrate myself on front of another separate entity and beg them to forgive me for my transgressions. Or, I had to confess my sins to a priest and beg him to give me Atonement. This usually meant doing penance that involved pain and suffering.

Atonement means becoming one with God's Creation. Now all I have to do to forgive is to see everyone and everything as one with me. When I judge I enforce my belief in separation. When I see the world as evil I am damming myself to remain outside Creation.

Damming and damning are pronounced the same way, and funnily enough convey a similar outcome. Build a dam and block the flow of water, damn and block the flow of Love.

Tom Jones used to sing a song "Please forgive me, let me go..." And that's all forgiveness means - let all our judgments of each other go. Forgive and forget - if we really have forgiven we have forgotten.

The part of us that believes we are separate is really an illusion which will disappear like a puff of smoke when we accept that we are as God created us.

Heaven is here, there is no other place.
Heaven is now, there is no other time.

Welcome to Heaven, welcome home.

Santa Claus Derailed 18 December 2011 exLJ

The idea behind Santa Claus and many other great ideas gets distorted over time. This is usually attributed to greed, to materialism or even simply to someone has to make a living out of it.

The idea that Santa Claus represents is that giving and receiving are beneficial to our well-being and so benefits our health. The problem arose when this giving and receiving became associated solely with giving material gifts. Gifts that we can touch and hold, gifts that we can like or dislike, gifts that represent how much we like or dislike the receiver, gifts that we feel obliged to give.

One global initiative site that I follow suggested that I give them a donation to make we feel good this holiday season.

The real gift was never supposed to be what was given, but the thought behind it. "It's the thought that counts" was the expression used to console us when we were disappointed in a gift we received. And it is the thought that matters.

"It is the thought that counts."

And it is always what we are thinking that matters. So this Christmas give thoughts of Love and Peace to everyone you know and to all the rest of us, as well.

And why limit these gifts to Christmas time. Give Peace and Love to everyone, all the time, throughout the year and throughout the rest of our lives.

What I have always enjoyed about Christmas is the spirit behind it. The spirit that helped parents do their utmost to get the best gifts for their children from Santa Claus. The spirit that allows seemingly total strangers wish each other "Happy Christmas and a Peaceful New Year."

What we give is what we get. Giving and receiving are one in truth.

So, have a happy, peaceful Christmas and make Christmas yours all year round and all through your life.

Thought Reversal Psychology 5 September 2011 exLJ

What do I want to say? I'm not sure. Something about the idea that we all believe we are bodies.

Writing nothing these days. Everytime I sit down at the computer with the idea of writing some of the thoughts running through my mind, I freeze. Today, I'm going to persist. Even, if, I have to sit here all day and type one word a minute. The subject of this post has been buzzing me for the last few days. One way for me to begin is asking myself what is the meaning of those words and take it from there.

A thought is what I think. Is the thought mine? No matter what I think someone else has thought about it before me. Any idea, even crazy ones, that I think is original, comes up with many pages when I search the Internet. There's nothing original. It's all been done before. It will all be done again, over and over.

If I reverse this thought and accept that everything is known and that there is no such thing as original then all I am left with is the experience of being. And that leads to question the experience of being what?

Psychology is the study of the mind.

So, I focus on the experience of being mind. A major tenet of my education was that my mind is in my brain, in my body. And for me to perceive anything or be aware of anything it had to come through the senses of my body. I had to keep my eyes and ears open and my mouth shut.

There were many minor experiences that began to make me wonder. Simple things like thinking about someone and then meeting them without having planned it. Seeing people in my mind the way they wanted to be seen rarther than the way they looked.

The major thought reversal came when I studied A Course In Miracles and A.H. Almaas's "Pearl Beyond Price". A Course In Miracles explained that I am not a body, I'm mind, because mind is all there is. "Pearl Beyond Price" explained how I got myself into the belief that I am a body by convincing myself that I am an image or a collection of images.

When I studied Indian Philosophy one of the concepts that I found almost impossible to grasp was that it is all an illusion. Because I believed the evidence of my senses I found it difficult to accept that there was really nothing there.

Now I know that there is something there and the illusion is in the way I interpret it. When I see images and objects I am seeing with my eyes and brain and mainly projecting what I want to see onto what is there. Even when I close my eyes I'm seeing with the pineal gland and my brain is interpreting.

Beyond my eyes, my pineal gland, my brain and my body there is mind. And it is always my mind that is really doing the seeing. It is always my mind that is thinking. What I think about I see. If I think an objective world, I see images and objects. If I think subjectively I may still see images and objects, but I can also go beyond these and achieve an in-mind experience (many people refer to this as out-of-body).

So, Thought Reversal Psychology?

World view: object + eyes + brain = reality

Beyond view: mind = reality

Ultimate view: reality = heaven

Our minds create our reality. Reverse our thinking and there is no sickness, no suffering, no death. We are not bodies. We are free.

PS. Six hours later, I was tempted to edit the first few paragraphs out of this. I decided to leave them there to remind me that I can overcome my reluctance to type and just let myself let it happen.

Sadness Sounds 5 August 2011 exLJ

On Wednesday night I posted two very sad songs to Facebook. Sean Curran asked the question. "What's up with all the sadness?" My response was "Just something I get into every so often when I need to remind myself where I am." That was the quick response. I have been thinking about it a bit.

Then Tantra Maat posted the Choir of the Crickets that slowed down cricket sound and made it sound like a human choir. I said this to "Zarkia" and she told me about a slowed down version of the theme from Jurassic Park.

So what is it with certain sounds and our emotions? Sound directly affects our heart. The Institute of Noetic Science and Heart Math have shown that there is a brain in our heart that is directly connected to the brain in our heads. And under certain conditions the heart-brain overrides the head-brain.

And then I started to read A Course in Miracles, Lesson 182. "I will be still an instant and go home.

"This world you seem to live in is not home to you. And somewhere in your mind you know that this is true. A memory of home keeps haunting you... a persistent feeling, sometimes not more than a tiny throb, at other times hardly remembered, actively dismissed, but surely to return to mind again...

...some try to put by their suffering in games they play to occupy their time, and keep their sadness from them. Others will deny that they are sad, and do not recognize their tears at all. Still others will maintain that what we speak of is illusion, not to be considered more than but a dream. Yet who, in simple honesty, without defensiveness and self-deception, would deny he understands the words we speak?"

It goes on to speak about a Child within my mind. A Child that knows what home is, not my family home or the place I was born, but Heaven.

I realise now that the sadness comes from this feeling deep in my mind of missing Heaven, of missing the innocence of the Child by striving so hard to be a "man of the world".

And all I have to do to recover my peace is to be still an instant.

In fact, many instants throughout the day.

The End of the World 25 May 2011 exLJ

The World is not going to end. Many dates have been predicted for it's ending. The latest one that we survived was 21 May 2011. The next big one is the 21 December 2012 at 11:11am, and is based on the Mayan calender 5125 year grand cycle which started on 11 August 3113 BCE.

Even though we believe that many ancient cultures were sun worshipers, there is mounting evidence that they were sun watchers and believed that the state of the sun determines the state of the Earth. Detailed studies of Celtic, Egyptian, and Chinese calenders and thought systems have confirmed this view.

At its simplest, the Mayan calendar is just a calendar. Our calendars cover one year and each year we get a new one. The Maya designed one that covered 5125 years. And at the end of this Grand Cycle the Mayan clock will reset from to For example, 23 May 2011 is

So just like there was mounting fear at the turn of the century when clocks changed from 23:11:59:59 on 31/1/1999 to 00:00:00:00 on 1/1/2000 there may also be fear generated for the Mayan reset.

There are many observers predicting that many of the on-going changes we are now experiencing will climax in 2012. All these combined indicate the end of something. I like to think that it is the end of the predominant thought system we all share, the one based on fear and guilt rather than peace and love, on us and them rather than we are all in this together.

We have been convinced that we are bodies, bodies that wear out and stop working. This is commonly referred to as death and because we see death all around us we assume that we, the world and the whole universe is going to die sooner or later. On the other hand, scientists have long assured us that nothing can be lost, the equations must balance, and all that happens in the reaction is a change of state.

Definitely, death is a change of state. Looked at from mind's perspective it's just dropping the body. We've had enough out-of-body experiences (or in-mind experiences, as I prefer to call them) to convince us that that there is more to us than bodies.

As mind, we are totally indestructible, completely immortal and absolutely immaculate. Something is going to change. Let it be your mind.

Blessings 21 June 2011 ex?Peace


"Keep the Faith" was a common mantra. I have lost my faith in religion and many other fear driven illusions. I asked myself over and over what I have faith in: a power outside myself, an unknowable source, a thought system based on separation. I now place my faith in the oneness of all life, everywhere. I still have delusional doubts but quickly remind myself that I am part of this wonderful oneness.


It has always seemed funny to me that we put absolute trust in total strangers, yet don't fully trust our near and dear ones. I suppose it is to do with feeling responsible for them. When we don't trust someone, it implies we don't trust ourselves. To really learn we have to do it on our own, we have to have our own experiences, and we have to trust that we are always in the right place at the right time.

What's in a number? First posted 8 November 2011

At eleven seconds, eleven minutes, and eleven hours on Friday the eleventh of November 2011, digital clocks will show Some emphasis is being placed on this number. It's just another second, minute, hour or day depending on how you time it. As a number it's just all ones.

There is no real significance in the number itself, it's what we make of it, that matters. Being all ones reminds me that we are all one. We are all one all the time, regardless of what the clocks show. Rather than waiting for the special number to appear, I encourage you to get into peace as often as you can for as long as you can.

Peace be with you always!

09 July 2012

Conflict - End Rant 16 January 2011 exLJ

A Course in Miracles, Lesson 102 talks about our belief in pain and suffering in the following terms: "It has not gone as yet, but lacks the roots that once secured it tightly to the dark and hidden secret places of your mind."

In teaching Peace of Mind Healing I emphasise that all pain and suffering comes from our thinking and that what we need to do is change our thinking. The most common response to this is "that's easier said than done". And I usually reply "don't I know?"

I don't know whether its the dreams, doing the lessons again or just simply life, but I still find myself in conflict with a lot of the stuff going on in the world. Despite my attempts to not be inundated with news (I don't watch news on TV or Internet, and I don't read newspapers) I still get to hear about some of the tragedies from friends or casual conversations.

Most of the time I'm superficially at peace and happy, but there is that underlying something always there. In psychiatric terms, it would probably be referred to as a compartment, some "dark and hidden secret place in my mind". Buried deep in my mind! How it got there, I'd like to say, I don't know, but I do. I absorbed it during my early childhood and then emphasised it again and again in all the arguments we had over the years. And that is argument in the sense of conflict not in the sense of clarification.

When I got old enough to be able to look somewhat objectively at all the arguments I could see what they are based on:

  1. I am right, you are wrong.
  2. If I am wrong, I cannot admit it.
  3. If you don't agree with me that I am right, even though we both know I am wrong, then I get angry.
  4. When I get angry, I puff out my chest, try to get higher than you and get ready to head-butt you.
  5. You usually back down and I'm left with the guilty feeling that I should not have done that.
The conclusion I came to was that "violence is the last resort of angry men and war is the last resort of angry nations".

The strategy to end rant is "I am right, you are right, we are all right."

Television Analogy 22 December 2010 exLJ

That 'television' means remote viewing I have mentioned somewhere before. (See post of 22 April 2010 - Ego, Mind, Memory, Emotion). Last night I woke up at 3:00 am. I had a dream that I was in Germany in a crowded beer garden. I was sitting at a bench looking down a long corridor and waiting for a woman I had met in a previous dream.

Awake, I began to think about the dream and the lesson I am learning in A Course In Miracles. The lesson is "I am Spirit" and it is basically about transmitting feelings of peace, healing and saving via the Holy Spirit to anyone who is open to receive it.

This led me to wonder about the television analogy. I checked the Internet this morning and they say that there are more that 15,000 channels world wide. So, if I had access to them all I would be able to flick between thousands of channels.

Obviously, the word channel got me thinking about spirit 'channeling'. Extending the analogy, not only can we do remote viewing, but we are always transmitting.

It can become a bit overwhelming if you think that there are over 7,000,000,000 people living on the Earth, and all of them transmitting and receiving all the time. I suppose it stresses the importance of the ABC of thinking - Always Be Careful.

Blessings - Safe, Open, Holy 21 December 2010 ex?Peace


I may believe that the weather, the state, the church, or the banks are out to get me. What I see going on in the world reflects my state of mind. Think 'doom and gloom' get 'doom and gloom'; think 'safe' and get 'safe'. Whenever I get bothered I say to myself "Your peace is with me, Father, I am safe." If the word 'Father' offends you, use Source or Buddha or some one that you know is always in peace.


We live in an open universe. And within it we are all connected. What is happening to other people can and does affect us. Equally well what is happening to us can affect others. With our minds closed we think we are victims of random occurrences. We are not, because there is no such thing as random. As the Cylons kept saying in Battlestar Galactica "There is a plan." To see the plan we open our minds.


It took me a long time to realise that 'holy' is not limited to religion. Holy is reverent radiance and it is in everything, everywhere. We all can broadcast our holiness. A Course In Miracles, lessons 36-39 talks about holiness. The one I like is "My holiness blesses the world." When I get annoyed, I say "My holiness blesses ___ _____". If you ever meet the pope you can say "My holiness blesses your holiness."

Blessings - Power, Strength, Free 17 November 2010 ex?Peace


We all have access to an infinite amount of personal power. Power is our potential to change our thinking. The more we think peace, the more power we have to create peace all around us. Energy follows thought. If we put our power into conflict it is wasted. When we put it into Oneness it multiplies and grows. Become aware that we all together have the power to change the world. We are powerful creators.


Strength is our ability to move mountains (Be careful where you drop them!). We often use anger to get us strength. This has serious consequences for our bodies. Using strength has no affects on the body. However, it means that we can't keep playing the 'games people play' because we have seen through the illusion and are no longer convincing as a gamer. It allows us to detach from the drama. Be strong.


If we accept the idea that we have free will, then we must be free. While we believe that we are bodies we are limited to the range of the body's perceptions and abilities. Freedom is a state of mind and, as such, has nothing to do with bodies. This contradicts the overwhelming thought system that centers everything on our belief that we are bodies. However, "I am not a body, I am free."

Blessings - Peace, Joy, Truth 4 November 2010 ex?Peace


"Peace reigns in the heart of silence, be still and know that we are as God created us." There are many things that keep us out of peace, our problems, our grievances and everyone else's problems and grievances. It's always a question of what we buy into. Search for injustice and we find it. Sit in peace and we get it. Get it!


Joy created me happy. Joy is often confused with elation, that feeling we get when we win or our team wins. Body neutral, Being centered, mind peaceful, enter joy. Wholeheartedly joyous really is the only natural state, all else is ego drama. Enjoy!


We can know and experience Truth, but we cannot tell the truth. We can be honest about our perceptions, our feelings and what we are thinking. Whenever I'm interrogated I usually make up a story and tell it with a smile on my face. The interrogator is never sure what to believe. "To thine own Self be true." Even though you don't have to be honest with anyone else, be honest with yourself.

Blessings - Love, Light, Life 20 October 2010 ex?Peace


When I say "I love you", I mean that I totally accept anything and everything that you think, say and do. Love is total acceptance of what's going in our lives. Love is not "I own you", nor "You'll do what I tell you". Love is everywhere, all around us, all the time. Remind yourself often that "I am always in Love".


We live in a radiant universe. Everything in it is made of light and radiates light. When we look using eye/brain we see light and dark and think that we need an external source (sun, bulb, candle) to be able to see anything. On 22 December 1990 I sat in total darkness. After 20 minutes I began to see a light. There was no external source. These days, it takes a couple of minutes to get into it, and its always there.


Life is eternal, outside time and space. The idea of separation drives our identification with bodies. When we look at ourselves as bodies and look around at other bodies we see signs of ageing, dieing and death. We are and idea in our All One Mind and as such we are eternal. Sooner are later we all drop our bodies, but we go on for ever.

Body Based Solutions are Futile 5 October 2010 exLJ

In accepting the Western, Eastern or other body-based view of the world we enter into areas of futility. We will do a lot of work, we will study a lot of different systems, we will figure it all out in many different ways at different times, we will adopt a lot of different diets, and we will try many different exercise and body fitness regimes. We may even resort to purgative or masochistic means.

We will possibly feel better, but hopefully, in the end we’ll discover that it’s futile. Any system that puts the body at the centre or uses the body as its centrepiece is subject to failure. Because we all know that sooner or later bodies die. Our ancestors’ bodies are dead, our grandparents’ bodies may be dead, our parents’ bodies may be dead or dying, our bodies may be dying. In fact, if you believe some of the common sense approaches, death and taxes are the only things guaranteed in this existence.

Futile Fairytale One

(E or e is used throughout to avoid using he or she - "e" in Sumerian means 'home of'.)

E sees a glowing castle away in the distance. E knows that there is something in the castle that he must have. The castle is surrounded by dense undergrowth for as far as the eye can see. E says “what the heck” and takes out his magic sword and starts cutting. The sword never gets blunt and what it cuts magically disappears. E keeps cutting through the thorns, day after day.

After many days of cutting e begins to wonder how far is the castle. He climbs up to get a better view. E sees the castle away in the distance. Better get back to cutting, e thinks. This goes on for a very long time. E begins to wonder if e will ever get there. One day e is visited by a strange being, maybe an angel. The being offers to carry em over to the castle. E says that e has to keep cutting away at the undergrowth. The angel disappears.

Many years pass and e is still cutting. The angel appears again and again he rejects the offer. Eventually e begins to wonder if all this cutting may be futile, but e keeps on cutting. However, e does decide that the next time the angel offers the lift to the castle, e will jump at the opportunity.

Food - we are what we eat

Food provides nourishment for the body, good food provides healthy nourishment, bad food makes the body sick. All food available in supermarkets and anywhere further than our own garden is bad food. Perhaps we have some chance with organics, (these are not foods for our organs, they are food that are grown organically). If we don’t grow and harvest our own food, then we have to take supplements to deliver all of the stuff that has been taken out of, or left the denatured food that we consume.

Medicine - what we eat sickens us

If we don’t eat our own grown food, or don’t take supplements then we are going to get sick. The correct food keeps us healthy and boosts our immune system. We are thus able to fight off external invasions of bugs, germs, viruses, bacteria, super bugs, etc. If we are not able to keep them off then take medicines that will kill them inside us.

Diagnosis - I’m ok as long as someone tells me what’s the matter with me

Whatever medicine system we use, we rely on someone else to take our case history and tell us in their terms what the matter is. Based on their diagnosis, we’ll be given a prognosis, and told what to take or what to do. In some systems our buttons will be pushed, both mentally and physically. In a few systems we are taught how to push our own buttons.

Drugs - maybe it’s not the food. It’s stress and I need relief

Whatever is causing the problem we know that when we take alcohol or drugs we get temporary relief. We also know that our minds and bodies become more flexible when we are pissed or stoned. We can think faster and clearer. We can definitely dance much better, and we are much better at...

Sex - dual unity revisited

Sex is good fun and the function of the orgasm is to allow the build up of tensions in the body to be released or converted. However, the underlying premise may be that we can become one with someone else by becoming one with each other’s bodies. We may be trying to reestablish the dual unity relationship we had with our mothers from our separate bases in our bodies.

Relationships - we are who we’re related to, who’re our friends, who we marry

Friends and relations look after each other. They are also inclined to work in a very narrow range of what is deemed acceptable behaviours. They may be tempted to become enforcers to keep us in the desired behaviour patterns. They may set themselves up as judge and jury. Unfortunately, their judgments may have nothing to do with the facts, they may have skipped the investigation and evidence hearing stages and jumped to conclusions. They sometimes turn into betrayers.

Possessions - we are what we have

May be we can remember when we owned nothing or thought we owned nothing. But, by now, we may own a house, a car, a cat, a dog, a television, a telephone or two. We may even own a second home or a second car. We may even think of people as ours, my mammy, my daddy, my brother, my son, my daughter, my husband, my wife, my partner, my friend, my God!

Business - we are all fine as long as we are busy

We must be working, we must be kept busy, and we all must have jobs. We are always working whether we have jobs or not, whether we pay taxes or not. Take a look through the body. What part of it is not working? If any of our major organs stop working, the body will stop working and we may have to leave it. Our mind is always working. Is it working for us or against us?

Position - we are our status in the organisation

Organisations grant power to certain positions, they do not grant power to the holders of the position. Sometimes the holder of the position believes its e’s personal power that is getting the job done. In social situations, where the positions are not so clearly defined, we sometimes use our possessions or our title to establish our position.

Image - we are what we see in the mirror

But a brave face on it! Save face! But on a mask! If we can’t make it, fake it! We look like someone famous, you know yer one in the movies, on the tele. What we see in the mirror is an image, which has nothing to do with what we are.

Technology - we need tools, the more complex and sophisticated the better

We all keep looking outside ourselves for the answer. If only we had faster access. If only we could shoot further. If only we knew exactly where everyone is at every moment. If only we could know what e thinks. The tools are only as good as their purpose. We have come a long way from the crayon and the slate, but its still only symbols on a blank screen.

Politics - we’re defined by the enemy

Government and opposition; this party versus that party; this country versus that country; this culture versus that culture; our army versus their terrorists. Someone believes they have the right answer. We buy in and let them lead us on a merry dance of comparison, competition, contention, and conflict. If we cannot convince the enemy by diplomacy or threat, then we resort to violence and war. And the deeds we commit abroad or against the enemy make us heroes. The same deeds committed at home would have us locked up and they’d throw away the key.

Nationalism - we’re doing as well as our country

We identify with our local team, our city or county team, our national team. Or, maybe we don’t. Our country is doing well, if our team is doing well. An individual from our country wins at the Championships, or the Olympics, or the Masters, and we are all so proud. And the individuals involved worked so hard to get where they are. Or, maybe they took performance enhancing drugs; oops! There goes my medal, there goes our national identity.

Religion - we are what we worship

An object shaped in the form of a man nailed to a wooden cross signifies for many of us the torture and crucifixion of Jesus, and keeps us reminded that this is a life of suffering. How conveniently we forget that he was taken down off the cross over two thousand years ago, and that he resurrected and became Christ, the Son of God, as God created him, just like E created the rest of us.

Theories – we are what we think we are

This is, in fact, true. However we keep thinking that we have to figure it all out over and over again, breaking it up and putting it all together again, analysis and synthesis continually looping into infinity. The futility lies in thinking that a representation of reality is reality; that the more symbols we can manipulate the better the theory will be.

There are so many more systems, moral, social, legal, monetary, set up to control, or to seek redress when we go out of control. What systems we buy into is up to us. But to simplify it all, these systems are about bullying, or tyrannical control. And the bullying is getting worse. More and more acts of vandalism and terrorism are being committed, more and more laws are being enacted, more and more protection is needed, more and more insurance is required.

And the simple purpose of all this is to get us to wake up. Wake Up! We are not egos in bodies. We are as we were created. We are Being in Mind.

Futile Fairytale Too

E receives a message “all knowledge is within”. E thinks about it and decides that it must mean that it’s at the core of the earth. So e starts digging. Magically, all that e digs disappears. After a few days the hole is about 10 metres deep. After a year the hole is a kilometre deep. E keeps on digging. E never gets tired. E never gets hungry. E just keeps digging and digging.

After 10 years the hole is 10 kilometres deep. E begins to wonder. E keeps on digging. After 20 years the hole is 20 kilometres deep. E stops. E does some calculations. “I dig a kilometre a year. In twenty years my hole is 20 kilometres deep”. E scratches head. “At this rate of digging it will take me 5,000 years to get to the core. Ah, I better speed up.”

So e starts to dig 10 kilometres a year. After another year the hole is 30 kilometres deep. E keeps digging. Time passes. E stops again. If I dig at this rate it will still take me 500 years to get there. I can’t go any faster. I’m not going to make it. So, e climbs out of the hole.

When e gets back to the surface someone has planted a sign. The sign reads, “God is everywhere. There is no need to dig.” Someone else has drawn a line through the word “God” and written over it the word “Knowledge”. Some one else has drawn a line through “Knowledge” and written the word “Mind”.

Time Phi Ratio 29 September 2010 ex?Peace!

Time speeding up based on Phi ratio.

I decided to do some calculations based on Phi ratio and 5125 year Mayan Calendar Age. We ended the 16th cycle on 25 August 2010. Each cycle becomes shorter and shorter. The one we are in now is 324 days. We get to the 40th cycle on the 21 December 2012 and the cycle length will be 12 minutes and decreasing. Each cycle repeats all of the opportunities from the previous cycles. If we accept this theory, it means that we will have 24 opportunities in the next two years to learn from past mistakes and, most importantly, not repeat them.

Update 20 June 2012

Thoughts of the Summer Solstice 2012, this morning, reminded me of this. We started 19th cycle on 2 June 2012 and it's 76 days long. Mind you, the last 12 will happen in the last couple of days before 21 December.

08 July 2012

Welcome "Infinitee" 4 October 2010 ex?Peace

When I was young we all wanted to be Billionaires. I guess the underlying idea was that by becoming rich and famous we would not have to work. There is an infinite amount of all the states we really need all around us all the time (Love, Light, Life...). Become present and say this simple mantra "I am always in Love" a few times and you'll begin to realise that you are a "Love Infinitee."

We Do it to Ourselves 4 October 2010 exLJ

We do it to ourselves. All pain and suffering is caused by our minds - the ego part. At best the body is always neutral. It responds to what we are thinking. If we think attack thoughts about anything or anyone we get pain somewhere in our body. If we think peace our body returns to neutral.

The effect is not always immediate, because some of the sources of our pains and aches are buried deep in our minds. And some of them are even 'compartmentalised' (that concept again). The Presence Technique to use when there are pain and aches is "Scan the Body".

Hold it Against Me 30 September 2010 ex?Peace!

"...would you hold it against me?"

My recent lessons in ACIM have been to do with grievances. Simply summary - holding grievances keeps me out of heaven. So, I'm letting them go. I'm also getting much quicker at catching myself getting into them. For every grievance there is a blame game guilt trip process. The lesson title is "Love holds no grievances."

Subjective Participatory Universe 29 September 2010 ex?Peace

Teaching "Peace of Mind Healing" in Cork college of Commerce and maybe Colaiste Stiofan Naomha next week. First class is introductions and explanation about becoming present. I get people to look at a view, any view and tell me what they see. And then we'll do the scan our bodies. The main idea is to get people to accept that there are no right answers because we live in a subjective universe.

I get people to make observations. I emphasise that all observations are subjective. What I see and what you see may not be the same even though we use the same words to describe it. And even the words we use are subject to our own interpretation of them. The "Word" or "Logos" was always one that fascinated me.

Recently I came across an explanation that the original Greek word 'logos' meant ratio or proportion. The idea that the Greek philosophers were trying to get across was that there is a common ratio inherent in everything. They referred to this ratio as the Golden Mean, but now it is more commonly referred to as the Phi Ratio. The number is 1.618033988...

Gregg Braden in Fractal Time advanced the idea that time also behaves according to this ratio. It gives a good explanation of why time seems to be speeding up. In the first cycle, 100 years felt like a 100 years, in the second cycle it feels like 61.8 years, in the third cycle it feels like 38.2 and in the fourth cycle it feels like 23.6 and so on (Keep dividing by 1.618033988).

The other idea that Gregg postulates is that the universe is participatory. While we can make observations, we can not make objective observations. We are taking part in, and changing, the universe by observing it. Wow! "What we see is what we get" is true.

So, ask yourself what you really want from the universe. Having tried many ways, diets, exercises, and life-style changes the conclusion I've come to is that the only way to be happy is to be happy; the only way to be in peace is to be peaceful.

Compartment Dreams 20 September 2010 exLJ

Recently, I've been having strange dreams. It's not the first time in my life that I've had this type of dream. They are not nightmares because nightmares are defined as "a dream arousing feelings of intense inescapable anguish, fear, horror and distress".

I've decided to call them compartment dreams after the psychiatric concept of 'compartmentalisation'. This is a very big word that describes what we do with experiences in our lives that we can't handle when they are happening. We lock them up in a part of our mind that we can't normally access.

Anyway, these dreams have nothing to do with my life, that I'm aware of. In them I'm doing totally out-of-character things. When I wake up from them I'm still totally immersed in them, and it takes me a long time to realise that it's just a dream. When I wake up the following morning, I remember that I had one, but have absolutely no recollection of the content.

The good news is that their intensity seems to be waning.

No Such Thing as Random 27 July 2010 exLJ

You might be wondering if I am ever going to update my blog. I am, but I just have to get through Ruishk and David's 'crisis' with the Church. Anyway, I sometimes wonder if the direction of my blog is the right one. Then, along comes confirmation. I was writing about Carrick on Shannon and I was in one of the Charity Shops in town. A woman was asking for directions to Carrick on Shannon. This is the first time ever that I heard anyone in Cork talk about Carrick on Shannon, never mind looking for directions to it.

I was trying to come up with a sentence that showed the different uses of words. I chose 'will' and wrote the following. "Hello, my name is Will. It is my will that you will do what it says in my will." That afternoon in GF, I treated a young American who's name was Will. As the title says - there is no such thing as random. We are always in the right place at the right time.

Blessing 26 September 2010 ex?Peace!

Everything depends on what we look for. All words and images are of the 'ego'. (Ego is that part of mind that believes that it is separate from mind). Every idea has a range of interpretation. How we interpret an idea depends on the thought system that we have learned. The following words are my mantra or my prayer - Love, Light, Life, Peace, Joy, Truth, Power, Strength, Free, Safe, Open, Holy.I offer them to you and to everybody, many times each day.

Choice 13 January 2010 ex?Peace!

The emphasis is on choice. We always have the ability to choose how we look at what is going on. Even though I do not always achieve it, my goal is always peace. When I find that I am not in peace, I just watch the screen or scan through my body. I usually find that I recover my peace within a few moments.

Round and Round - 9 January 2010 exLJ

From one plane to another - thoughts going round and round. The part of us that can't see what is really going on finds it difficult or nearly impossible to trust the part that does. And, thus, has a real problem with letting it take control.

How do we undo decisions that we had no part in making. For that matter, how do we undo decisions that we feel completely responsible for. Our parents had sex and we were conceived and later we were born. The society, the religion, the social class, the bodies we were born into, we had nothing to do with. A few questions arise
  • who or what is this "I" of which we speak?
  • how do we know that we have no part in our non-decisions?
  • how do we know we were completely responsible for those decisions we think we made?
  • can we go back? Can we really go back?
To go back in time, if there is a solid space/time connection, we have to go back in space. We have difficulty overcoming the simple gravity of planet Earth. How are we going to shift the whole Earth, solar system, galaxy, universe back in space?

"I" is a declaration of separation. We believe that we are each separate and that we are separate in our own bodies. And from this belief springs nearly all the concepts that we use.

There is only mind, always and everywhere present. To mind, the whole universe, past, present and to come is freely available. So to go back or to go forward, to go here or to go there is simply a matter of tuning into the state we want!


07 July 2012

Constantly, Constantly, Constnatly 7 January 2010 exLJ

I was tempted to make the third Constantly "Constantinople" but that would have been misleading as this post has as little to do with Constantinople as it has to do with New York, New Delhi, Beijing or Cork.

We are constantly changing - round and round. Constantly framing impressions. Our view frame is surrounded by a frame of reference that is made up of stored images. Surrounded implies a 2-D matrix, but it may be just a continuum like a circle. A first impression is never a first because it is always compared with some previously stored image.

Constantly watching people's behaviour. Constantly judging their behaviour against some socio-moralistic code. This code was learned during our formative years and persists through most of our lives. The judgement is made instantly and then the tolerance factor comes into play. Tolerance is based on the idea that we are all learning. But it always comes after the judgement. So! How can we drop the judgement? Or maybe the question should be - How can we drop the ego?

When we just look at a blank scene there is no judgement triggered. We are just looking. When we look at a scene with a pattern, our pattern recognition triggers an association with a previously learned pattern. This is the same with behaviour patterns. In both cases we maybe looking for what's wrong, what's out of place. The problem arises more so with behaviour patterns because we wind up judging the person exhibiting the behaviour pattern, rather that trying to understand the pattern and not reacting to it.

Our behaviour pattern recognition system develops by watching and imitating the behaviour pattern of our parents, other adults and older children around us. So we develop a core pattern that we regard as the right one because it is based on all we know and is based primarily on mother's pattern. If not mother, it is based on the primary care giver's pattern. The pattern is associated with the images we have stored. Our first impressions of other people are based on a comparison with our primary image and our core behaviour pattern.

The stored images we have little control over because we had no ability to decide if we wanted to store them in the first place. In infancy we are busy gobbling up the images and impressions of our childhood environment. We have no discernment, no capacity for sorting, we're just soaking them up or absorbing them.

Much later we try to look at things, scenes or images without pattern recognition and that it is very difficult or almost impossible. The pattern recognition system has become dominant. However, closing our eyes and watching the screen has become one of my key ways for overcoming the ego. It does not have the movement problem associated with watching scenery or people-watching. Open-eyed stillness is difficult because something moves and our eyes and our attention becomes focussed on the movement. We start trying to figure out what's going on and sooner rather than later we're back in pattern recognition mode and it's inherent judgemental risks.

Constantly going round and round. All time and space is based on movement. No movement, no time, no space. In the Flower of Life scheme of things it is the projection of mind outside itself and it's subsequent movement which leads to all creation. It's all based on movement in egoland. The earth rotates and dances round and round with the moon. And in turn goes around the sun, which travels around the galaxy with the solar system in tow. On the surface of the earth all is movement. And within everything there is always movement.

But to our ego-centred view it appears mostly still. Even though we have rediscovered that earth/moon go around the sun, that the solar system goes around the galactic core, all of our thought systems are centric. There is a theory that the universe is omni-centric, that every point in it is at the centre of things. Maybe our egos aren't such ejiits after all.

In ego-centric terms each of us is at the centre of the universe, even if we regard this personal universe as a very small part of a much larger whole. Within our own sphere of influence we play a major part, even though we know that in the grand scheme of things our part is rather insignificant. When we look at the big picture we are inconsequential.

But there is no big picture, no ego based view that can see it all. To get to see it all we have to move outside ego and return to mind. And when we return to mind we cannot take any of the ego based stuff with us. So now we have a real problem for ego. Everything that we use, to think, to see, to hear, to speak, to do is all based on an ego system of symbols, words, language, images and sensations which are only representations and are not real.

05 July 2012

Lessons Bloody Lessons, Enthusiasm - 17 October 2007 exLJ

I've been thinking about Lessons Bloody Lessons and decided that the title is a bit misleading. It's a throwback to a time about 5-10 years ago when I thought I had learned enough. And I got really mad, raging mad about the idea of always having to learn more and more lessons and that they would never end. So, I suppose, now that I've realised that I've always had this really cool internal teacher (the Holy Spirit in Christian terms, the Buddha Within in Buddhist terms) and that I can learn my lessons when I'm ready, it's not so bad, really.

The key word in learning from life and enjoying it while you do is "enthusiasm". Whatever you're doing be enthusiastic about it. If it's a boring job, what we call a real chore, then learn to do it on auto-pilot, and put your enthusiasm into thinking about what you really love. It could be something from the past or the future, it could be a place you'd love to be or have been. It doesn't matter what we think about as long as we are enthusiastic about it.

Jim Green maintains that when people become enthusiastic about anything they can actually warm up a cold room. And equally well if other people are knocking the idea they cool the room down. He told me enough stories of his experiences with this to convince me.

The students were complaining last night that the room I was teaching in  was cold. I was roasting. Maybe it was because I was moving around a bit more than them, or maybe I was being more enthusiastic about the subject than them. Anyway we did a few exercises and they all warmed up.

In the Way of One course with Tantra Maat and Richard Waterborn (An Tosnu, Carrigaline, 1996) she explained that enthusiasm can be interpreted as "in Theos I am" Theos being the greek word for God.

Lessons Bloody Lessons, Human Beings - 10 October 2007 exLJ

So, having said that we are here to have our learning experiences, we'd have to learn what it means to be a Human Being.

How many people do we need to cover the complete range of human experience? Even hough we are all unique human beings, there are patterns that repeat themselves over and over again. When I was in UCC a fellow student claimed that we only need 200. Suppose that he hyper-underestimated and that we really need 20,000 or even 20,000,000.

I don't think that it's anywhere near this number, but for argument's sake we'll take a number somewhere in between, like 80,000 - the population of a reasonably small city. But, there are 6.4 billion of us, that's 80,000 time 80,000. So why are we doing it over and over again? Maybe we are a very stupid species and can't learn from each other. Maybe we are being led astray like in the Pied Piper of Hamlin story.

As human beings we have been given access to the complete range, from here to eternity, from hell to heaven. We've got it all. But we have convinced ourselves that we are limited. That we are limited to the perception range of our bodies, or the extended range we get by using technology (telescopes, microscopes...).

There is only one mind and that mind contains the universe, the whole shebang, lock, stock and barrel. The quantum physicists may be referring to this one mind when they talk about the quantum vacuum. There are absolutely no particles in it. Yet it has the potential to become galaxies, super-galaxies and whatever else they call the bigger and bigger collections of stars.

As Will Shakespeare once said "All the world's a stage..." And we are all actors on that stage. We are not only the actors, we are the producers, directors, scriptwriters, key grip, gaffers and so on. We are also the audience. So, no matter how you see your part in this play. It's your part. Make the most of it. Learn to enjoy it. Have fun with it. Play with it!

Lessons Bloody Lessons 9 October 2007 exLJ

When I was a trainer in DDC I decided to offer a class in Time Management. I came across and bought a video by John Cleese called Meetings Bloody Meetings to help me get the message across. Hence the title of this post.

I went through a phase where I though I had learned enough bloody lessons. But it kept being shoved in my face that we're never finished learning lessons. Well, to hell with that. So when will I be finished learning? When I wake up in the morning in peace, spend the whole day in peace, fall asleep and sleep in peace. Sounds boring? Not really!

Because the idea of "walkabout" entered. In walkabout mode we just go about our lives enjoying what is presented to us without any expectations. We're not trying to do anything, just being and enjoying it. Having fun!

Well, anyway back to the bloody lessons. I wake up in the morning, and I'm in peace. I go through the day. At some stage I discover that I'm not in peace. Maybe I'm angry, mad, sad, afraid, frustrated, anxious, worried, agitated... What situation, event triggered this reaction? Who did this to me?

Nobody did this to me. I reacted. I decided that an emotional response was appropriate. I may not be aware that I decided, but some part of me must have decided. So today's lesson becomes "How did I get myself out of peace?" Let me get back into peace. Let me rest in peace!

Over the years I have accepted that I will have to learn my lessons. That's the way the universe works. If I don't learn them today, then I'll learn them sometime. There is no choice about this - I will learn my lessons. You can almost imagine the authoritarian figure pointing at me saying "You will learn your lessons" And I ask him do I have any choice. And a gentler, more helpful universe responds "Yes, its true, you will learn your lessons, but you have a choice. Three choices really. First choice is the timing choice. You can learn them now or later. Second choice is the location choice. You can learn them here or anywhere. Third choice is the how choice - the easy or the hard way."

OK! Lessons bloody lessons are only given to us when we are ready to learn them. We are better off learning them when they are first presented, otherwise the tend to get more difficult the more we postpone them. And we usually wind up saying to ourselves "Why didn't I do that immediately, is really was not as difficult as it thought it would be"

If my current location is not my favourite place in the universe, then I can always move to my favourite location.

I don't always have to keep beating my head against a stone wall. Maybe someone else has learned this lesson. It's definitely sure that someone else has learned this lesson already. I can buy the book, and take it with my favourite chair and sit on the beach and simply read the lesson in peace and comfort.

There is a much simpler way of learning and that's to just tune into the mind-state we desire to learn. I suppose in Matrix-land they referred to this as "Deeks (can't remember his name) load the program!"

A Train of Thought 2 October 2007 exLJ

A train of thought is a sequence of concepts, a process. In slow motion an event is a process. There is no such thing as a random happening, no such thing as chance, no such thing as chaos. We just don't have enough information to see the control system at work, or we do not have the ability or the willingness to understand the bigger picture, the grand scheme.

There is also a vested interest in keeping the concept of chance or chaos going. If we knew it all, there would be no fear. Without fear why would we need security for the future, why would we need security for the present? Why would we need to pay insurance, why would we need systems of control, hierarchies of management or government.

Anyway, another mangle (I've decided to call these misquotes and mixed sayings that come into my mind mangles).

"Ego is a voluntary incarceration of a boundless mind."

Looking at bodies (man-watching) may be futile. It could be

- trying to interpret a mind by inferring from the body language, image or form.
- seeing beauty in a form.
- looking for a connection.

It is definitely dangerous when judgment enters - we make a decision about another separate part of mind based on what we see as the form, shape or appearance of the body. If discernment engages rather than judgment - do I like what I see? Can I help the mind that believes it is a body? Then we can take it or leave it. The problem with our judgments is that we feel we have to do something about them.

When I was doing the Healing At Work promotion I had lots of time for man-watching (or more accurately woman-watching). The question occurred to me "What is the perfect figure?" The smart answer I got, which I had come up with before, is "8". Which leads neatly into another mangle.

"Beauty is in the mind of the perceiver. Offence is in the ego of the receiver."

A New Paradigm - 2 October 2007 exLJ

A paradigm is a thought system that is so ingrained in a society that no-one ever questions it or even sees the need to question it. A New Paradigm is a bit of a contradiction. I was talking to a friend yesterday. His son has got married. He wanted to have a simple wedding and spend his money on a 6-month world trip with his wife. His wife wanted the all bells and whistles wedding, which she got. The son now feels trapped - all his money is gone, they even borrowed for the wedding. He's got a €385K mortgage and a €20K loan for the new car. Looking at it an other way he could say that he's got a beautiful wife, a great house, and a marvelous new car.

The New Paradigm being introduced is based on the Law of Attraction. This basically states that what you think about you get. Think about disasters get disasters. Think about abundance get abundance. There are many books and sites selling it. The major one at the moment is "The Secret". The only problem with most of them is that they are looking at things in terms of money and wealth; as if these are the only things that matter. What really concerns people is being happy, safe and in peace. These are all mind states and can only be achieved by looking at our thought system and by each of us changing our thinking.

OK, I'm getting off my soapbox.

Conspiracy Theories - 9 June 2007 exLJ

Been reading a few different conspiracy theory books - Icke mainly. Read Sitchin's End of Days as well. And, of course, I watched Conspiracy Theory again. Icke's major theory is that the dinosaurs never became extinct, that they evolved into humans. Very like the Super Mario Brothers movie, except that he maintains that they are alive and well and living all around us. He does go on and on about the horrors that these cold blooded reptiles get up to with us warm blooded mammals. By the end I was accusing him of genetic discrimination.

I suppose the cynic in me says "What the hell difference does it make who we've evolved from as long as we've made it here". Then I remembered seeing huge similarities between the whale anatomy in the National Gallery and ours. So much so that I commented that maybe we are devolved from the whales.

The conclusion that I've come to is that all conspiracy theories are based on the ultimate conspiracy of them all - the one that maintains that we are only bodies. Once I accept fully that I'm mind, all mind, then nothing can get to me, nobody else can do anything to me, unless, of course, I want them to, or I allow them to.

Mind Stuff - 16 May 2007 exLJ

I watched Altered States last night and after that I watched Being John Malkovich. Altered States was very different from what I remembered. Being John Malkovich was a kinda weird, not quite black comedy, maybe grey comedy. The funny thing was that they were both about mind stuff.

In Altered States Dr Jessup was proving that the state of the mind changes the state of the body. By sensory deprivation and magic mushrooms his body would transform into homo erectus. When he did he wasn't in control of his behaviour anymore. He nearly lost it a few times but in the end his love for his wife saves them both from a fate worse than death, as the cliche goes.

One of the funny things about Altered States and my mind was that in the beginning he was just describing in words the scenes he was seeing while in the sensory deprivation tank. These descriptions I had turned into images in my mind and remembered the imagined scenes as part of the movie. I was a bit disappointed that the scenes weren't in the movie at all, just a description of them.

In Being John Malkovich a puppetteer discovers a portal into John Malkovich's mind, and then learns to control him and eventually take him over. After many twists and turns they all live happily ever after, except the puppeteer, of course. Thinking about it, maybe it really is a black comedy.

12 March 2012

David Narby - Chapter 9 - Simple Truth

As I arrived in GF, Clivid attacked me, saying, “Hix is gone! You made her do it...”

I was shocked and wasn’t listening to him anymore. Had Hix committed suicide? I looked around at the others and none of them looked too happy.

I asked, “What happened?”

Will answered, “Hix left you a letter and asked us not to answer any of your questions until you had read it.”

He handed me the letter and I wondered if it contained a suicide note. The envelope was addressed simply as ‘To David, please read aloud at your next Thursday session’. As I opened it my hands were shaking. The letter was a few pages long. I began to get my hopes up, suicide notes are usually only a paragraph long. The handwriting was beautiful, nothing like I would have expected.

Dear David,

Thank you very much for what you have done for me. You have opened my eyes to a different way of thinking and given me a new perspective on the world.

I asked Clivid not to attack you after I was gone but he kept saying that you were an ‘asob’ and that this was all your fault.

I asked, “What’s an asob?

Clivid answered angrily, “You’re an Arrogant Son Of a Bitch.”

Don’t worry about what Clivid tells you. He’s seeing this as a tragedy. He uses that expression a lot especially for anyone he thinks is more intelligent than him. I can see why he thinks you are arrogant, though, I used to think the same. Now, I realise that you are always so certain of what you speak about that it comes across as arrogance. It’s just your style.

Over the last while I have been talking quite a bit with Will, Smigs and Darukin. I asked them not to talk to you about our conversations and not to bring it up at any of your Thursday sessions. When Smigs talked about our history going back hundreds of thousands of years I wondered if I really knew anything and began to doubt what I had learned in school.

But, I suppose, I really have to thank Clivid. As you are aware Clivid regards himself as a Born Again Christian and is fond of barking biblical quotations at people. I challenged him once to show me where these were written down. He was very loath to show me. Eventually, after much badgering, he showed me a battered copy of The Catechism. Believe it or not, he actually allowed me to look through it. He explained that there used to be a Penny Catechism that is not published anymore. The lessons from the penny one were marked with an asterisk in the one he had.

When I got to Lesson Six I stopped. I began to use it to counter all of Clivid’s proclamations.

I asked, “What is Lesson Six?”

Clivid answered, “Lesson Six: God is everywhere. God is in Heaven.”

Clivid continued, “I should never have let her see that. She was never the same again. I could not get a rise our of her. Whenever I attacked her, she would just smile and say ‘Lesson Six’. Sometimes she would draw an outline of a 6 in the air or hold up six fingers. All I got from her was 6, 6, 6!”

I found this the best lesson I had ever learned. When Clivid tried to convince me that I was evil, I would just smile at him and say ‘Lesson Six’. He used to get so annoyed. However, I began to wonder, if this was the simple truth, why was there a need for all the other stuff in the catechism. I also began to question everything that I had ever learned.

Smigs and Darukin were invaluable in helping me understand our history, how our thought system developed and how it has been manipulated. Even though I’m still not sure if I want to believe it, their explanation of the event on which all Christian religions is based really upended me.

I looked at Smigs and Darukin. They shrugged their shoulders and Smigs said, “Keep reading, we agreed with Hix that we would only discuss this when you had finished reading the letter.”

Before that, though, let me emphasise why I found Lesson Six so great. It’s the greatest counter-argument to all our ideas of separation, to all our egos’ mad schemes, to everything we see going on in the world. The logic of it is overwhelming.

Yeshua Ben Yosef was the name of the man that we would call Jesus Christ. And when we use that name we think it is a first name and a surname. It’s not, Jesus is the man who became the Christ. Yeshua was the first man to fully realise that he was as God created him, that he was God’s Son, the Christ.

God is everywhere. God created Christ. Christ is everywhere. In the words of St. Patrick the mystic,

“Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ in me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.” 

St. Patrick is not talking about Christ as a body, he’s talking about a state of mind. And this state of mind is accessible to us all.

What I had believed was that Jesus Christ ascended into Heaven forty days after his resurrection. Smigs assured me that this idea was borrowed from the Egyptians. In fact, he asserts that most of the ideas presented to me as Christian were taken from older religions and reworked.

The way I had learned it, God created us and then abandoned us. We screwed up. Jesus Christ was crucified to redeem us. He resurrected and then abandoned us. We have to wait for his second coming before the world will be put right.

I suppose the idea of abandonment appealed to me because up until your last visit I had believed my parents had abandoned me. I have now accepted that they made a decision, a decision that I didn’t like, but, still and all, a decision they were entitled to make.

When I remind myself that “God is everywhere” I wonder why I believed that I had to die to get to meet God, even if it was only for the moment when he was sentencing me to eternal damnation.

I think this is part of a deeper conditioning. As a child the promise of a treat was used to make me be good. At school the boredom was relieved by the thoughts of the playground and going home after school. At work the drudgery was overcome by thinking what we’d get up to at the weekend.

Needless to say all this upset me. Will tried to console me by telling me that it was all just ‘broken promises’, that my parents and my teachers were doing their best and that there was no sense in blaming them or anyone else. I felt betrayed. I had invested an enormous amount of time and effort in learning all that garbage, and now I was learning that it was all lies.

I had bought into a though system that was completely wrong. The whole system rested on one totally flawed idea - we are separate, and our belief in the possibility of separation has convinced us that we are bodies.

What galled me the most was the constant harping on about us being sinners, and as such we are here to suffer. Clivid and his ilk always kept on and on about fire and damnation. Because we keep breaking the commandments and going against scripture we deserve to suffer, to roast in the eternal flames of hell.

Their selective quoting of texts from scripture did get me curious and I decided to read it for myself. Again, when I got to Matthew 20.29 I stopped. It states “God is one. Love God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself. This is the only commandment.” 

Again I applied Lesson Six to this. God is one. God is everywhere. Then oneness is everywhere. I don’t see myself as being one with everyone and everything. I can’t see God everywhere, but I’m hardly going to start blaming God for not showing Himself to me. Then I realised that the second bit were the instructions for achieving the first.

Unfortunately, this had always been quoted to me without the last two words “as yourself”. The idea of loving yourself was selfish and frowned upon. I told myself to stop thinking about what had been said to me and concentrate on what the words said. Anyway, I don’t now and never did see any signs of people obeying the ‘love your neighbour’ bit.

“As yourself” means that I love others like I love myself. How could I? I never loved myself. I’ve always seen myself as a miserable little bitch who would be better off dead and the world would be better off if I had never been born.

Will explained to me that the purpose of our neighbours is to act as witnesses for ourselves. As we see ourselves we will look on them. If we see them as evil, then the evil is within us. We project onto them what we feel about ourselves. He also said that a Mental Asylum is maybe not the best place to look for witnesses.

The cases in here are too extreme. I feel safer in here than I do in the big bad world outside. He argued that I had become institutionalised and that the constant reminding by psychiatrists of my mental condition was not conducive to dropping that condition.

He liked to quote R.D.Laing, a psychiatrist he had worked with in Glasgow, Scotland.

“The secular psychotherapist is often in the role of the blind leading the half-blind. The fountain has not played itself out, the Flame still shines, the River still flows, the Spring still bubbles forth, the Light has not faded. But between us and It, there is a veil which is more like fifty feet of solid concrete. Deus absconditus. Or have we absconded?” 

So, I have decided to leave GF, not to seek fame or fortune, but simply to be myself and to love myself. Love is an attribute of God. God is everywhere. Love is everywhere. (Yea, Clivid got fed up of me saying that all the time, too.) It is also an idea that can be shared. The more I share it the more I get.

I may be that, like Laing says, I’ve got fifty foot of concrete to break through. I’ve started chipping away at it, and I know for certain that one day I’ll make it to the other side.

Let me revisit Lesson Six one last time. God is everywhere. God is in Heaven. So Heaven must be everywhere, within us, all around us, all the time. I know, David, that it is what you are searching for, and it is my fervent hope and prayer that you get there soon.

All my Love, Helen, ‘Hix’.

PS Keep it simple, David. For life really is. Complications and complexity have been introduced to keep us in the dark and to allow experts to thrive on our ‘ignorance’. Ask Smigs for his New Testament example of this.

That was it. Why all the drama? Couldn’t they just have told me that Hix had signed herself out of GF.

Will said, “Sorry about that. Hix asked us all to play along with her little charade to see how you would react. She wanted to see if you would be concerned that she might have committed suicide”

I said, “Yes, I was concerned, but I didn’t think that Hix was the slightest bit worried about what I think or how I would react.”

Will said, “That was a mask she used to not let people get too close to her. As she said in her letter, she really was afraid of being abandoned. Allowing her feelings to show had always led to her being hurt. She’s not over it completely yet. She left here intending to be herself and she said if other people didn’t like her that they could go and make love to themselves.”

I asked, “What did she mean by her PS at the end of the letter?”

Smigs said, “When she stopped reading the bible she asked me why there was so much scripture when the only bit that matters is so simple and so short. She said it was the same with the Catechism, everything is made complex, and complicated with concepts that contradict the simple truth.”

“Wow” I said, “That must have been a difficult question to answer.”

Smigs said, “I think that it was a rhetorical question. She wasn’t really looking for the answer. She was just annoyed that everything she had learned had all been designed to keep her ‘locked out’ of her mind. No one, until she met you, had ever questioned the reality of our thought system or the basis of our civilisation.”

I said, “What answer did you give her?”

Smigs said, “I gave her an example from the New Testament. In Matthew 20.29 Jesus Christ states a simple commandment as the only one necessary for attaining the Kingdom of God. In the Acts of the Apostles you can see this idea being subverted as the Church leaders struggle to establish their religion. In 325 AD the Synod of Nicaea formulated a creed that makes no mention of Love, a creed which they then go on to use to slaughter people who would not accept it.”

Will said, “I’m sorry lads, I’m going to have to break this up again. It’s getting late. We’ll have to pursue this some other time.”

01 March 2012

David Narby - Chapter 8 - Strange Lessons

I had started reading one of the books in the house’s library called the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. The Tibetans proposed a simple technique, the same technique that Mi-Li-Sam had shared with me. Their argument was simple. If we were going to run in the Olympics we would not arrive at the stadium on the day of the race without any preparation. We would have trained and worked hard and would have had to run many races to prove that we were up to Olympic standards. They said to regard death in the same way. Death will be the biggest single event in our lives and we had better prepare for it. To do this we need to catch ourselves falling asleep, because sleep is like a little death.

Every night I did this and only caught myself falling asleep once or twice. But, what was very interesting, is that I was aware of things happening either before I woke up or just after I woke up. I would wake up and keep my eyes closed. Even though I knew I was awake and lying in my bed, I found myself in some strange situations. Where or when I was I had no idea and definitely had no control over them. And then I remembered what Ruishk had said at our first meeting on the bus, that it was my mind that decided when and where I would travel so that I learn my lessons. I had learned to trust the people in GF enough to be able to share these experiences with them and ask them for their explanations.

I was not sure how to bring up the subject on my next visit to GF. As it turned out, I didn’t have to. After our usual greetings and our inevitable chat about the weather Will started talking about strange experiences. He asked me,

“David, did you ever hear about the headless horseman?”

I replied, “When I was a boy I had a grand-uncle P who used to scare us out of our wits telling us all kind of weird stories. He often talked about the headless horseman. His stories were all local and about people we knew. I never had the courage to look for confirmation because P had a reputation for making up stories and making them interesting by pretending that they happened to locals. The other reason I never asked is that most of us are unwilling to talk about our strange experiences.”

Will said, “It’s true we don't like talking about them, definitely not in here and especially not with the staff. But we have accepted that you don’t share anything we say with the staff. Hix and Darukin had a strange encounter yesterday evening.”

I asked, “What happened?”

Will said, “They were standing in the corridor talking to each other, and Clivid thumped into Hix’s back. Her eyes popped wide open and she got a faraway look on her face. She said that she saw something strange but she’ll only tell us if you ask her nicely.”

I said, “She wants me to plead with her to tell us what she saw.”

Will said, “David, give it a try, just ask her nicely.”

I said, “Please Hix, tell us what you saw last night.”

Hix said, “That’s not asking nicely.”

I scratched my head and wondered, Will whispered in my ear that maybe I should try calling her Helen.

I asked again, “Please Helen, could you please tell us what you saw last night, if you don’t mind.”

Hix replied, “Why David, I’d be more than pleased to tell you.”

She was silent for quite a while. I was beginning to think I needed to ask again when she continued in a very quiet voice.

“As Will said, myself and Darukin were chatting. I got this very strong whooshing sensation through my body and closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them Darukin was gone and all I could see was a huge ball of incandescent rainbow light. It was like a huge bubble with a radiant light in its centre. Then my mind went blank and I don’t remember anything until I woke up this morning.”

Clivid ranted, “Now you’re beginning to sound like David. You had an hallucination.”

Hix said, “Just because you did not see what I saw you call it an hallucination. It was a real experience to me.”

Will said, “None of us saw what Hix saw, but I accept that that does not mean that she did not have a real experience. I suppose it brings us to the heart of the matter when it comes to our experiences outside the realm of accepted consensual reality. Because most of our experiences are subjective we can’t get agreement from anyone else about them.”

Darukin said, “Don’t go looking for agreement, just enjoy the experience and learn from it. We all have dreams that appear very real to us, but when we wake up we realise that they were not real, they were just dreams.”

Annorr said, “What we call our waking reality is as much a dream as what we experience in dreams.”

Will said, “Let’s agree, for the purposes of our conversations here, that any experience we have, whether we are awake, asleep or in some altered state, we’ll accept as a real subjective experience and not go accusing each other of hallucinating or being crazy or insane.”

Darukin said, “I agree, but let’s remember we are in an insane asylum, after all.” As he said this he laughed and we all laughed along with him.

Annorr said, “When I was learning Reiki I had problems using the symbols. Some time after I had become a master, I had three experiences in-between sleeping and waking. In the first one I was looking at a granite wall that had exquisitely carved Egyptian symbols on it. I just watched, and nothing happened. The second one was the same except that the symbols were Japanese. The third one was the same again but this time the symbols were Tibetan. Again, I just watched and was not really interested.

Then, I had a fourth experience where all the symbols were lying broken on the ground and a guide took me through the wall. We tunneled for quite some time until we came out in total blackness. I couldn't understand what they were all about until a psychic reader told me I was dealing mainly with primeval energy.”

I said, “That’s funny because in some of my recent experiences I was opening ley-lines around Ireland, Britain and Europe. One of the really vivid ones was that I was digging through a huge rock blockage between France and Germany.”

Hix asked, “What are ley-lines?”

Darukin answered, “They are channels for energy flow on or near the surface of the earth, just like acupuncture channels in the body. Stagnant or blocked energy in the body can be moved by activating acupoints. For the Earth the same affect can be achieved by placing large obelisk stones at nodal points on the ley lines. All these nodal points were identified by megalithic structures such as standing stones, dolmens or, the inappropriately named, burial mounds.”

Will asked, “David, what was the feeling you were experiencing while you were digging.”

I said, “I was feeling very frustrated and wondering would I ever get through to the other side. That same feeling of frustration permeated the experience I had of carrying the pope on my back for thousands of miles across a desert with the aim of getting him to the Pyrenees.”

Will asked, “And when did that one happen?”

I answered, “A couple of weeks before I broke through the rock blockage.”

Will asked, “And did you get him there.”

I said, “Yes, I did, much to my relief. I was delighted to get him off my back.”

Will said, “It may be that these experiences are mirroring some blockage in your life, some source of frustration for you. But, in both cases, you achieved your objective, you broke through the rock blockage and you did deliver the pope.”

I said, “I have made, as you probably gathered, a major life changing decision recently.”

Will said, “I think that the pope represents your ego, and your life work is a process of dropping it. The other thing that the feeling of frustration might be showing you is that it might be time for you to give up your stubborn endurance.”

I was tempted to react to this until I realised that I had always been like a dog with a bone. Once I got my teeth into something I’d never let go until the job was done. And then I remembered another recent experience on waking up.

I said, “I was flying all over the place with a few of my friends and then I realised that I had to get up. In my mind I could see myself reluctantly putting on a heavy rucksack that was very full of garbage.”

Annorr said, “Poor David, you really are getting triggered to drop your ego.”

Charlie said, “We are slowly but surely drifting away from the headless horseman and Hix’s experience of the rainbow bubble.”

Hix said, “Thank you Charlie.”

Charlie continued, “On one of your previous visits, Annorr used the phrase ‘we first make fragments of the whole, and then reassemble them without regard to all their true relationships’. In the teachings of the Shamans of Ancient Mexico this was seen as the function of the Assemblage Point. They saw the functioning of this point as key to how we perceive the universe, and getting control of it as giving us Mastery of Awareness. Their basic premises were

  • The universe is an infinite collection of energy fields, resembling threads of light.
  • These energy fields radiate from a source of inconceivable proportions.
  • Human beings are composed of a vast number of these same threadlike energy fields, which form an encased amalgam. This manifests itself as a ball of light the size of a person’s body with the arms extended laterally, like a giant luminous sphere.
  • Only a very small group of the energy fields inside this luminous ball are lit up by a point of intense brilliance located on the ball’s surface.
  • Perception occurs when the energy fields in that small group immediately surrounding the point of brilliance extend their light to illuminate identical energy fields outside the ball. We only perceive the energy fields lit by the point of brilliance.
  • The point of brilliance can be moved from its usual position on the surface of the luminous ball to another position on the surface, or into the interior. When it moves to a new position it immediately brightens up new energy fields, making them perceivable.
  • When the point of brilliance shifts, it makes possible the perception of an entirely different world – as objective and factual as the one we normally perceive.

So, when we are having these strange dreams or experiences, what we are doing is moving our Assemblage Point or our point of brilliance from one position to another.”

Hix sighed and asked sarcastically, “Yes, Professor Casey, but what has all that to do with my experience?”

Will said, “Maybe, Charlie, you could explain it in simpler terms.”

Charlie replied, “OK, OK, we all think we perceive the world the same way. We have a fixed frame of reference for looking at the stuff of the universe. When Clivid bumped into Hix he changed her mode of perception. She shifted into energy awareness and saw Darukin’s energy emanations as light. All the rest of us continued to see Darukin as a body.”

Hix asked, “Are you saying that I was the only one that seen Darukin that way?”

Charlie replied, “Yes, your heightened state of awareness was unique to you. How long did you stay in that mode?”

Hix answered, “I don’t know, as I said already, my mind went blank...”

Charlie interrupted, “Are you sure you can’t remember anything else?”

Hix said, “Is this an interrogation? I don’t remember...”

She went silent for quite a while and then she continued, “The whole place looked very weird. I could see blobs of light around me...”

Silence again. Charlie was getting impatient. Hix looked terrified. Charlie was about to ask another question as Will interrupted him, “I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere with Hix, let’s leave her alone.”

Hix said, “It’s all right. I can talk about this, now. I seemed to be moving through time and space. There was a lot of flickering lights that I passed through. They may have been doorways. I came to an open door into a room that was filled with red light, like the red of a Valentine’s rose.

“The feeling in the room was intense. I was very frightened. There was a bed in the room with two figures lying very still on it. I looked and looked at them and began to wonder who they were. Slowly it dawned on me that they were my parents. I tried to pull myself closer to them. I could not move. They were too still, no sign of breathing, no movement at all. My sense of dread was mounting. I was beginning to panic. I collapsed.”

Hix started sobbing, “My parents are dead.” I went over to her, and very uncharacteristically for me, gave her a hug.

Charlie said, “You just had an intense recapitulation experience.”

Will said, “Charlie, I don’t think this is the time to get into explanations. It’s getting late. Maybe we can get into it the next time we meet.”

Annorr said, “Whatever you call it, Charlie, I think Hix was ready. If we just live our lives, everything we need to learn will be presented to us when we are ready.”

Hix got up and as she left the room she said, “I don’t think I need this any more.”