25 April 2011

David Narby - Chapter 7 - History Part 2

I took Ruishk’s advice and as I entered the hospital I started whistling the first song that came into my head. It was the theme music from the film “The Sting” composed by Scott Joplin. As I walked the corridors towards GF I got some strange looks and a few smiles. I said to myself, “What the heck, this is not a mortuary.”

When we had settled down in GF, I told them about my experiences with Ruishk and my climb up the mountains. They were all very interested. Smigs was the first to speak.

He said, “Paps D’Anu, hmmmm, its interesting that the Irish should be using an ancient Sumerian word as a name for mountains. The ‘D’ is short form for ‘De’ and means god. So the mountains are dedicated to the god Anu. He was one of the oldest gods in the Sumerian pantheon, and part of a triad formed with his two sons, Enlil and Enki or Ea. He was regarded as the father and the first king of the gods.”

Clivid interrupted, “I am the Lord, your God, and you shall not place strange gods before me.”

Smigs continued, “Yes, Clivid, that is the Christian teaching. My research into the Bible was triggered by the use of the word ‘Elohim’ for God, whereas in Hebrew the word is a plural form and means gods. Sumer, the first modern civilisation, is referred to in the bible as Shinar (Genesis 10:10), and this prompted me to think that the bible might be historically correct. The history of Earth, as told in Sumerian tablets of clay, predates their civilisation by hundreds of thousands of years.”

Clivid said, “According to the bible the world was created at nine o clock on the morning of the 23 October 4004 BC.”

Smigs said, “That is a calculation made by Bishop Ussher of Ulster and published in 1650 AD. It was added into the margins of many bibles after that date, but actually, in older versions there is no date assigned.”

Darukin said, “Ussher gives a very specific date that may not be very accurate. Modern science estimates the Earth was formed over four and a half billion years ago. May I ask you, Smigs, what convinced you that the bible is history rather than a story recorded as history to get a message across?”

Smigs replied, “There are historically verified dates for some of the later happenings in the Old Testament. In historical research there is always the concern that what is verified by many sources may be just different interpretations or versions of one source. This is true of the earlier books of the Old Testament, those talking about events before the advent of historical records. My research into Sumerian, Egyptian, Akkadian, Hittite, Babylonian and Hebrew histories showed that there was correlation of the biblical story. They were all talking about the same events. What really convinced me, though, is that they were talking about the same events from the different perspectives of opposing sides.”

Clivid said, “(Gen 1:26–28) On the sixth day God created Man in His Image and Likeness and told them to go forth, be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth."

Smigs said, “The creation of Man story comes from one source, the Sumerian. Even in Genesis there are two versions of it. The Sumerian records are far more detailed and describe what we would call, in modern scientific jargon, a feat of genetic engineering. Without going into all the detail, around two hundred thousand BC, the Annunaki scientists from the planet Nibiru took the DNA of the then existing Homo Erectus and merged it with their own to form a new species that we refer to as Homo Sapiens.”

Darukin said, “Maybe both versions of the Creation story are valid. The first one is telling how God created Homo Erectus and the second one is telling how the Annunaki genetically engineered Homo Sapiens.”

Hix vehemently interjected, “Genesis! Annunaki! Nibiru! Homo Erectus! Why do I have to sit here and listen to this rubbish? What has all this got to do with our reality.”

Will said, “Hix, you don’t have to sit here, this is elective, you can leave if you wish. To
get a better grasp of what you call reality we need to understand how we got into it. Looking at the history of man on this planet can help us do that.”

Hix said, “I accept that, but David’s trip to the Paps D’Anu was only a side-bar to his experience of fear when he tried to open the door to Truth. Why can’t we talk about that rather than this boring historical garbage?”

Smigs answered, “Maybe the creation story is not so relevant to your experience here, Hix, but what came after is. The Annunaki had a history of millions of years on their own planet and had a highly developed and sophisticated social system that depended on kingship and hierarchy for its continuation. This they transferred to Earth, and is now the basis of all family, social, religious and political structures as well as all the organisations in the world.”

Hix said, “We live in a democratic society, we have free elections. There has not been a king or queen in Ireland for hundreds of years.”

Smigs said, “The title is not used, but the effect is the same. Whether the figure head is called Taoiseach, Prime Minister, President, Chairman or Pope they all believe that they get their authority from God. The granting of this authority is shown in many ancient civilisations as the sun or a winged disc shining above the head of the receiver. The winged disc is the symbol for Nibiru.”

Darukin said, “Ancient civilisations are commonly portrayed as sun worshippers. They were much more than that, they were sun watchers, believing that the state of the sun determined everything that happens on Earth. And they were right. Modern scientific studies have shown that there are important links between solar and geomagnetic rhythms and a wide range of human and animal health and wellness indicators. Even historical events like war, social unrest, military events and acts of terrorism can be correlated with the solar cycles.”

Hix said, “Again I ask, what has this got to do with me?”

Hix had been glaring at both Darukin and Smigs while they were talking. Will was scratching his head and I could see that he was getting a bit agitated. I was enjoying Smigs’ account of creation and ancient history and was thankful that he had picked up on my trip to the mountain rather than them talking about my fear at the doorway. I was to be disappointed as Will said,

“Hix, Smigs is giving us a background to the situation that we all find ourselves in now. We can look at history in many ways, whether it is true or false, relevant or irrelevant, but we need to remember that it is always written to suit someone's agenda.”

I said, “That’s true, they always put a spin on their stories. They use information, misinformation or disinformation depending on what emotion they want to create in their readers.”

Will continued “Whatever version of history is correct, it is obvious that the underlying emotion to it was fear. And it is still fear that we all have to learn to deal with.”

Charlie said, “Yes indeed, whether the source of the fear is known, unknown, or unknowable. Taking David’s experience in the warehouse, the objects that he saw are known, what was in the closed boxes are unknown, but what was behind the door is unknowable.”

I was beginning to get defensive. I had crossed my legs, and pulled my arms around my chest. I felt my whole body tightening up. I looked around at the others and I could see similar reactions. Hix was trembling and was totally wrapped up in herself. Will asked,

“Hix, are you all right?”

Hix replied in a very weak and shaky voice, “Yea, I’m just fine.”

Looking at her I thought she was going to get sick, but then something seemed to snap in her and she said,

“When David described his experience of fear at the doorway, an image of my parents bedroom door filled my mind. I was standing outside the door with a premonition that something terrible had happened. For ever so long I just stood there and could not move a muscle.”

Will asked, “Can you open the door now?”

Hix replied, “No, when we were growing up there was a rule that we could not go into their room if the door was closed. We always assumed that they might be up to something.”

As she said this she gave a small shrug and smiled as if she were a little embarrassed about what might be going on behind closed doors.

Will asked, “What do you think caused your premonition and sense of terror outside their room?”

Hix said, “I don’t know.” And recovering her usual poise, she smiled, “Maybe, just like David I’ve got a very dark secret buried in a box in my mind. Now, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

Everyone went quiet for a while. I had been watching Annorr, She had sat in a very relaxed upright posture and looked very serene. Clivid began to chant the words ‘original sin’ over and over. Rather than getting annoyed with him I asked,

“Clivid, what is original sin?”

Clivid replied, “Sin is any thought, word, deed or omission that is grievously wrong and is committed with clear knowledge, full consent and contrary to the Will of God. Original sin is the sin that Adam and Eve committed in the Garden of Eden when they ate the fruit of the forbidden tree.”

I asked, “And what happens if you commit a sin?”

Clivid replied, “Eternal damnation...”

Will interrupted, “There can be no such thing as sin, because nobody knows the Will of God. Original sin is our belief that we are separated from God and is usually associated with the Fall. No one knows what state we were in when we were born. However, during our first year of life we formed a dual unity with our mothers. Over the following couple of years we separated from this state, and instead of returning to the unknowable state, we became convinced that we are bodies. Calling this act of separation a sin, and making us suffer for it in fear and guilt, has been the tool for the suppression of mankind since time began.”

Annorr said, “Fear makes us blind, what we fear to see we cannot see. Both Hix and David are terrified of looking at something. Hix’s fear is based on an event that happened in her life, whereas David’s is referred to as the ‘fear of God’.”

Hix said, “You know nothing about me.”

Annorr said, “I don’t know your history, but I can tell from watching you that when you think about your doorway, your body reacts like you are remembering something terrible. David, on the other hand, had only a slight bodily reaction, he’s afraid of what might happen whereas you are afraid of what happened.”

I said, “How could I be afraid of something that I believe is Love?”

Annorr said, “Fear of God is the expression used, but it is fear of total annihilation. When you looked at the objects and boxes you were thinking in terms of images that you normally see with your eyes. When they disappeared and your warehouse was filled with stars you were seeing with your mind. You were still happy with this. You could not open the door because you thought that going through the door meant that you were leaving everything you knew behind, that you would be sacrificing yourself, and that you would enter a void, an abyss so deep that you would be lost forever. If everything you knew was in the warehouse what could be through that door but something terrible. And this threatens you.”

I said, “I have been in many life threatening situations, in various parts of the world. I never felt fear like that before.”

Annorr said, “You perceived those threats as outside your self, whereas this one was internal, in your own mind. There is a part of your mind, a personality as Will calls it, that refuses to let go, to set you free. This part will do anything to stop you from realising what you are in reality.”

I asked, “What am I in reality?”

Annorr asked, “What do you think you are?”

I said, “I’m a body, except when I have out-of-body experiences.”

Annorr asked, “And what part of you did all those out-of-body experiences?”

Acting dumb, I said, “I dunno, maybe it was all hallucinations.”

Annorr smiled and said, “They are not hallucinations, they are real, everything else you see is an illusion or maybe even a delusion. Delusions created by your ego-personalities to keep you locked in this prison world of threat and defenses.

In this prison world we think we need defenses to keep us safe from the constant bombardment of ideas of sickness, death and destruction. We always have to have lots of protection against all sorts of attack, whether those attacks come from natural or man-made sources.”

Hix said, “Are you trying to tell us that there is no sickness, no death, and no perils in this world we inhabit? What about epidemics, crashes, floods, earthquakes, wars and terrorist attacks; to name but a few of the many potential hazards we all live with every day.”

Annorr said, “All these things threaten bodies. But we are not bodies.”

Hix said, “When I look around this room, I see bodies sitting in chairs. When I look out the window I can see bodies walking around and you are trying to tell me that they don’t exist. Or maybe they are all figments of my imagination.”

Charlie said, “They are all the result of your identification, of what you think you are.”

Annorr said, “When we think of ourselves as separate we see bodies, we look through the body’s eyes and only see an objective world of matter. When we open our minds, and accept that there might be more to it than this, we can see with our minds and learn to see the world differently.

Earlier Smigs and Darukin talked about God’s creation of man as the creation of bodies out of dust, or as the merging of two species. Clivid quoted that man was created with the same qualities as God. Let’s look at just two of God’s qualities: God is everywhere and God is One. So Oneness is everywhere, and we all share in the universal Oneness of God’s Creation. We are All One Mind.”

Hix said, “It might be true that we are all one mind, but I am sitting here feeling pain and aches in my body and thinking that my brain is going to explode.”

Ruishk had got me to scan through my body to achieve peace of mind. I was reluctant to mention it and felt a bit awkward about trying to be a ‘healer’.

Will said, “When David was telling us about his recent experiences he mentioned that Ruishk had used a technique to get him into body neutral. David, maybe you could lead us all through that process.”

I said, “I don’t know if I can remember what he said and asked me to do.”

Will said, “Don't worry, you don’t have to be absolutely accurate. It’s more than likely, though, that when you start you’ll get it word for word perfect.”

I got them all to scan through their bodies three times. I dropped the bit about remembering what you feel where and about telling me. As I watched them scan, I was amazed how they all changed their body positions. Everyone put their feet flat on the floor, sat upright in their chairs and laid their hands gently in their laps. In particular, I paid close attention to Hix. With each scan the tension in her face eased and by the end of the third scan she looked peaceful. Everyone sat in silence and the room was calm. As I watched Hix I could see the tension returning to her face. She opened her eyes and looked straight at me.

She said, “Thank you David. I felt for a moment that I had made it into peace, and then I started thinking again. The same old thoughts that I always think.”

Will said, “It’s always the same, we get our moments of peace, and then our old thought patterns of attack and defense emerge again.”

Annorr said, “We need to preserve our peace by careful watching. If we think attack thoughts, start judging, or make plans against uncertainties to come, we have again identified with the body and this identification attacks the body. It is the mind that is sick. To use Will’s terminology, we all suffer from Paranoid Schizophrenia.”

Will said, “But not everyone is locked up in asylums.”

Darukin said, “Unless we see this world as an asylum ruled by fear and guilt.”

Annorr said, “I didn’t mean the clinical definition. We all believe that our minds are split off and we are all walled off from each other. Ruishk’s technique allows us to become present. When we become present healing flashes across our open minds, and peace and truth take the place of fear and guilt. When we are healed the body does not feel at all, there is no sense of feeling ill or well, and no feeling of pain or pleasure. The mind does not respond at all to what the body does.

This removes the limits we place upon the body by the purposes we give it. The body's health is fully guaranteed, because it is not limited by time, by weather or fatigue, by food and drink, or any laws we made it serve before. We need do nothing now to make it well, for sickness has become impossible.”

Hix said, “At times, Annorr, I think you should be locked up in here. Everything you say totally contradicts what the world believes.”

Annorr said, “Hix, maybe I should be. The world is insane, an insanity fuelled by defenses. Our defenses are an insane device for self-deception. Their purpose is to hide reality and to keep the truth from being whole. We see ourselves as separate humans, yet each of us believe we are whole within ourselves. God created Truth - we are all One and this Oneness is Heaven. Heaven is the decision we must make. It appears to us that we have a million choices, but we really only have one: hell or Heaven, slavery or freedom, scarcity or abundance. So, what do you choose?”

Hix said, “Of course, I choose Heaven. I don’t get it, though. Why, if I choose Heaven, don’t I get it?”

Annorr said, “We believe we must defend ourselves against the truth. Our defenses are intentional and are made with awareness. We erect them so quickly they seem to be unconscious. We see truth as a threat, decide escape is necessary, and set up our defenses accordingly. We then convince ourselves to forget that we have made the decision and so believe it comes from outside ourselves. Continuing this crazy logic, we first make fragments of the whole, then reassemble them without regard to all their true relationships, and are left with illusions of a whole that is not there. And so we all see a world full of images and objects each having its own separate reality where no such consensus reality exists.”

I said, “So, my reaction of fear at the doorway was a decision I made, a defense I set up.”

Annorr said, “Yes, David, you are not ready yet to drop all your defenses. We are inclined to think in terms of separate bodies. We don’t see ourselves as brothers. There is an exercise we can do to help us overcome this. As we look around at each other, we see bodies. Now close your eyes and try to make a connection with everyone.”

I closed my eyes. As I watched I could see some small lights which did not remain visible for very long I got the feeling that other people had joined us in the room and that more and more were coming in. I began to get nervous. The room seemed to be filling up. I was beginning to feel oppressed. I opened my eyes and there was only the seven of us sitting there.

I said, “I thought the room was full of people until I opened my eyes.”

Annorr said, “We were all connecting with each other and that opened our minds to many more.”

Clivid said, “(Matthew 18:20) When two or more are gathered together in my name, there also am I.”

I said, “I began to get afraid.”

Annorr said, “When we begin to open our minds that which has kept them closed does not want it to happen. It senses its end and does everything in its power to hold on. With practice we learn to overcome the fear and realise the Glory that is all around us all the time.”

Will said, “It’s getting late. I think we’ve had enough for one day.”

14 April 2011

David Narby - Chapter 6 - History Part 1

I was having trouble accepting what had happened in GF. Then I remembered what Mi-Li-Sam had said to me back on the bus, during their lecture to me on 'what it was all about'.

“You are now entering the what-why-how period of undoing all that you have learned. This has been referred to as 'a mid-life crisis' and 'the dark night of the soul'. You have woken up to the real purpose of your life. 'Crisis' and 'dark night' imply that we go through these phases quickly, but sorry, the realisation may be quick but the process of undoing is going to take some time, years and decades rather than weeks and months.”

That my reaction had been a ‘crisis’ was for sure, and I had gone through some ‘dark nights’ since then. I was reluctant to go near GF again. I began to ask myself who those characters in GF really were to be able to trigger such emotional reactions in me. I decided to do some research. I checked the local library and found nothing. I went into the city library and found nothing. I even checked the local newspapers’ archives and came up empty handed. I was wondering if these people had any history at all. If I had been back at home I would have been able to use my many ‘sources’ to find out. Then, it occurred to me that maybe Shaymaas Sunshine might know something about them.

When I called to Sunshine’s, Shaymaas was in the middle of a telephone conversation. Even though I tried not to listen, I found his end of the conversation fascinating. He kept scrunching up his nose as if he was smelling something obnoxious and he referred to ‘eyes’ in a strange way. He saw how curious I was and when he finished the conversation he asked,

“Do you smell anything strange or see any spirits?”

I answered, “No, I don’t smell anything and I don’t see spirits or anything unusual.”

Shaymaas said, “When I’m dealing with spirits I get different smells, good spirits smell like flowers and evil spirits smell rotten. Are you sure you don’t smell anything?”

I shook my head ‘no’ as I breathed deeply through my nostrils. I could get the background smell of laundry, but nothing else. Then, he asked,

“Do you see colours or images of animals around people or places?”

Again, I answered no, and he went on to explain,

“When we first start to deal with spirits or the dearly departed our senses get heightened. The most common are seeing, hearing, feeling in that order. Smelling and tasting are not so common. Smelling odours and aromas that no one else smells was my trigger into the world of spirits. Over time my other senses became attuned to the spirit world, but from time to time I still need someone with ‘eyes’ to see.”

I interpreted his body language as a question and answered, “No, I’m completely normal, I don’t see colours or images around people; I don’t hear voices or strange noises; I don’t get strange sensations on my body; my sense of smell is bad at the best of times, and my taste is good enough to let me enjoy my food.”

Shaymaas said, “I don’t think you came here to talk about spirits. My spirits, guides if you prefer, are telling me that you are looking for information on your ‘circle of friends’.”

I replied, “Yes, I’d like to know more about who I’m dealing with in GF, and I thought that you may have some information that you would share with me.”

“OK,” he said, “Let’s start with Mi-Li-Sam. This is a bit tricky, my guides say that they can’t give you any information about them. Hold on, they are saying that they are not allowed because there is an almost total split between them and us. We are structured and hierarchical, they are a bunch of anarchists, if that is at all possible. We believe that the only way to get to Heaven is through Jesus Christ, they believe that God is everywhere and that you don’t need anyone, or anything to get you into Heaven.”

I said, “Thank you, I wasn’t thinking about Mi-Li-Sam, I was thinking about the people in GF.”

“Anyway,” Shaymaas said, “The same applies to Ruishk, which is not surprising, since Mi-Li-Sam appointed him as your guide.”

As he said this I got a buzzing feeling on the left side of my head, just above my ear.

He continued, “Even though none of us believe in coincidence, they find it a bit strange that Will, Darukin, Charlie and Smigs should all be in GF at the same time. It looks like they are there for you convenience. No, not convenience, they’re saying now, more for your re-education. What’s confusing them is that having five of you meet up is not the anarchist’s style, it’s more like our doing. As for Annorr, they are disgusted with her. She was destined for high places in their ‘organisation’ until she deserted. Anyway, as they keep telling me, God moves in mysterious ways.”

God and his ways again. This had always been used when a teacher could not explain a difficult religious concept to us in school. Shaymaas’s insistence in seeing this as an “us and them” conflict was beginning to grate on my nerves a bit. Then I reminded myself that I was here to get information, not to get into an argument with Shaymaas about spiritual hierarchies or the lack of them. So, I asked,

“Can you tell me anything about their personal backgrounds?”

Shaymaas replied, “Will was a highly trained psychoanalyst of the Freudian school. Many years ago he became disillusioned about what was happening and began to develop his own radical views about psychoanalysis. This led him into major conflict with the International Psychoanalytical Association. He was accused of having unwholesome associations with some of his younger female clients. To avoid a major scandal he was offered work in a secluded psychiatric unit. Over the years he has moved from one unit to another in many countries. His spirit was broken and he had no desire to continue playing mind games with the authorities, so he considered Ireland to be the most tolerant country he had worked in and committed himself to GF.”

I said, “That’s why he has such developed theories about the mind.”

Shaymaas nodded yes as he continued, “Smigs, Professor Sigsmig, defected from Russia to America because his views on religion were totally anathema to the ruling Communist Party. The Americans located him in the heart of the Bible Belt where his research into the scientific nature of the bible was seriously frowned upon. They couldn't send him back to Russia, and he wanted to live in a neutral country, so they agreed with the Irish Government to settle him here.”

Again, I got the buzzing sensation on my head.

He continued, “Darukin had a major meltdown during which his character completely changed. He believes that he is a walk-in and that he is being trained by angels and spirit guides to  advance the scientific understanding of psychic phenomena and spiritualism.”

I asked, “What’s a walk-in?”

He replied, “A walk-in is where someone with little or no interest in living on this planet, surrenders his body to an entity, human or otherwise, who takes over completely.

“Charlie worked with shamans, medicine men and witch doctors all over the place. They believe that some of the hallucinogenic drugs he smoked or digested may have cracked his mind.”

He was sniffing the air and judging by the smile on his face it must have been one of his ‘good guys’.

He continued, “And that leaves Annorr, Hix, and Clivid. Hix and Clivid are just ordinary patients, nothing special, just can’t cope with the stress and strains of the “real” world. Just one thing you might be interested in, Clivid has photographic memory and if he has read something, he will be able to quote it to you word for word. He may not understand what he is quoting, but he will be accurate.

And last, but not least, Annorr. She is not a patient in GF. Just like you, she visits there from time to time. She leans more towards the Mi-Li-Sam camp. She started off her career as a nun who had trained as a medical doctor. One of her patients had asked her a simple question - “You’re a catholic, do the two snakes intertwined on the sword not worry you?” The question began to eat away at the back of her mind. It caused her enough doubt to look for an alternative.

She dabbled in a few complementary therapies, not finding anything that suited her until she came across Acupuncture and went to China to study it. The fact that her order had a mission in China helped, and she stayed there quite a few years. She explored Ancient Chinese Philosophy and Spiritualism and discovered that with Acupuncture she could treat mental and emotional traumas as well as physical problems. When she came back to Ireland she left the order, much to their relief, and set up her own private practice. Since then she has studied A Curse in Miracles.”

I interrupted, “Did you say c-u-r-s-e or c-o-u-r-s-e?”

He replied, “Miracles can be a curse, however, it was a course she studied.”

Again I got the buzzing on the side of my head. Shaymaas said,

“For someone who doesn't get spirit induced body sensations, you are doing pretty well today.”

I replied, “This is the first time anything like this has happened. What do you think it means?”

He said, “What do you think it means?”

I said, “I think someone might be waiting for me at the house.”

He said, “Then you better go home.”

I left and went to  Usu Ilimmu. As I got there Ruishk pulled up in his car. As he was getting out of the car he asked, “Where have you been? This is the third time I’ve called to the house in the last couple of hours.”

I was tempted to respond to his question with a sarcastic comment but instead I said, “That’s funny, I had a buzzing sensation on the side of my head three times. That’s some coincidence. To answer your question I was down with Shaymaas Sunshine enquiring about the people in GF.”

As we went into the house, Ruishk asked, “Did you get what you want?”

I replied, “I’m not sure, the information he gave me seemed a bit far-fetched, and was crouched in conspiracy theory terms, us versus them, good and evil spirits. He seemed a bit amazed and perplexed that five people in GF were there for my convenience. I am slightly skeptical about what he told me.”

Ruishk said, “That’s good, be very skeptical about what we all tell you. In GF, the patients have a taboo against friends checking up on their history. Don’t mention anything about the research you were doing on them. The reason for their taboo is that the psychiatrists, during their periodic consultations, constantly refers to files which hold all their ‘history’. If they want to, they will tell you their own story. It usually takes a long time for them to build up enough trust in their ‘friends’ to tell them their intimate details. And, anyway, most of them are trying to drop their history and so are reluctant to talk about it.”

I said, “I see what you are saying, I won’t mention any of this in GF. I’ve studied many types of organisations and they are all based on hierarchies. Power and authority reside at the top and flow down or are stepped down through the ranks. Is Shaymaas’s hierarchy any different?”

Ruishk replied, “No, they all work on the pyramidal model and, for the most part, they all claim to have received their authority from God. Everyone knows their position and the further up the ladder the more power is granted and more access to information and decision making is given. Shaymaas is allowed to know so much, his ‘spirits’ decide what he is entitled to hear or see, and they have strict controls over what he is allowed to pass on to ‘outsiders’.

“They see you as being guilty by association, you know how it goes, ‘the friend of my friend is my friend, the friend of my enemy is my enemy’. You are not entitled to make up your own mind, ‘you are either with us or against us’. They are a little tolerant of you at the moment, because they believe that you haven't committed yourself totally to the other side. They are still hoping that you will drop your runaway madness and return to the fold.”

“Now”, I said, “You are beginning to sound like one of them.” And I realised just how easy it was to get caught up in antagonistic beliefs. We looked at each other and began to laugh. Then we both said together,

“Oh, what tangled webs we weave when we practice to deceive.”

And we laughed again, the laughter of innocence, of freedom from the chains that bind us, a good hearty laugh.

Ruishk said, “Enough of that, Will proposed a model for our minds. Rather than trying to see it as a multiple personality, let’s look at it as a single room. In this room imagine all your memories as objects.”

I said, “It would have to be a very large room.”

Ruishk said, “Then look at it as an enormous warehouse. Every idea that you have ever had, every memory is stored in it somewhere. You sit in an office overlooking it all. You are able to go anywhere in the warehouse, pick up an object and remember it’s story and what caused you to put it there.”

I said, “Based on my recent experience in GF, some of them must be hidden down there somewhere.”

Ruishk said, “All right, then imagine that certain objects have been placed in boxes. You can see the boxes, but you can’t see what’s in them.”

I said, “The storage space would be a lot smaller if I imagined them as files and folders in a computer. And the retrieval time could be much faster.”

Ruishk said, “That’s true, but we’re not looking for small or fast. I’m trying to get across how vast your mind is and cultivate a slow and steady attitude rather than fast and erratic. Now, close your eyes and imagine yourself cleaning everything out of the warehouse. Don’t take any time to examine the objects or to look in the boxes, just get rid of them.”

As I closed my eyes I said, “This could take a very long time.”

Ruishk said, “We’ve got all the time in the world.”

In my imagination I started dumping stuff, in the beginning it was slow. As I got over my reluctance to dump some of my stuff and my curiosity to look in some of the boxes I got faster and faster at it. Eventually, the warehouse was empty. I said to Ruishk,

“All my treasures, my clutter and my boxes have been removed, my mind is clear.”

He said, “Now take a good look around the empty space. What do you see?”

I looked around and saw almost total darkness. I kept looking and small pinpricks of light began to appear. More and more of them appeared until the whole space was full of stars. I heard Ruishk say,

“Don’t open your eyes. Keep looking straight ahead.”

As I watched I saw a doorway form. The door was closed, with a faint glow around its edges. Ruishk asked me to walk up to the door and to open it. As I got closer to the door, I began to get afraid. I put my hand on the door to push it open. My fear was getting intense. I couldn’t push the door open. I quickly opened my eyes and Ruishk was smiling at me. He said,

“That is the doorway to the Truth, or, Heaven if you prefer. Now close your eyes again.”

I seen that the warehouse was full again. I was not feeling too good. Ruishk asked me to scan through my body with almost ritualistic phrasing,

“Close your eyes, take your awareness and go through your body, remember what you are feeling where, and when you are ready, open your eyes and tell me.”

I scanned through my body from head to toe and toe to head and told him what I felt.

“There’s an intense buzzing in my ears, my lower back feels like someone stuck a knife in it, and there are pins and needles running down my legs.”

He got me to scan through my body twice more. When I was finished I did not feel anything in my body. Ruishk said,

“Congratulations, David, you have just healed your body. You have made it into the state we call “body neutral”. Are you still afraid?”

I said, “I feel a little nervous, but the intense fear has passed. I am getting curious about what happened.”

Ruishk said, “Let’s leave that for your experts in GF. Tell them your experience and let them explain it to you. You could also ask them about spiritual hierarchies...”

I interrupted, “I was planning not to go back near GF again. I found my last visit embarrassing.”

He said, “That’s all part of the undoing process. Your outburst did not really bother The Crazy Cabal too much. They are very tolerant and will never mention it again. In fact, they will all have forgotten it by now. So, the next time you go, put a smile on your face and whistle a happy tune - tra-la-la-la-la-la-lay.”

As he sang this he began to do some sort of crazy leprechaun jig around the room. When he stopped we were both laughing our heads off.

The next day I decided that I needed a good walk. I took out a map of the Cork and Kerry region and noticed that there was a couple of mountains about thirty miles away on the Cork and Kerry border with the strange name of the Paps D’Anu. When I arrived the tops of the mountains were covered in mist. Even though I told myself to take it slowly, within a few minutes I was walking briskly up the mountain. The air was clean and fresh and I was sweating quite a bit. I was really enjoying my walk and felt a lot of clutter lifting off my mind. When I got to the top the mist had cleared and I had great views over Cork and Kerry and could even see Limerick and Clare away in the distance. When I got back to the car, I could see why they were called Paps. The two peaks looked like a woman’s breasts with nipples pointing straight up into the sky.

As I drove home I decided that I would go into GF again. I kept saying to myself, “What have I got to lose?”