I was having trouble accepting what had happened in GF. Then I remembered what Mi-Li-Sam had said to me back on the bus, during their lecture to me on 'what it was all about'.
“You are now entering the what-why-how period of undoing all that you have learned. This has been referred to as 'a mid-life crisis' and 'the dark night of the soul'. You have woken up to the real purpose of your life. 'Crisis' and 'dark night' imply that we go through these phases quickly, but sorry, the realisation may be quick but the process of undoing is going to take some time, years and decades rather than weeks and months.”
That my reaction had been a ‘crisis’ was for sure, and I had gone through some ‘dark nights’ since then. I was reluctant to go near GF again. I began to ask myself who those characters in GF really were to be able to trigger such emotional reactions in me. I decided to do some research. I checked the local library and found nothing. I went into the city library and found nothing. I even checked the local newspapers’ archives and came up empty handed. I was wondering if these people had any history at all. If I had been back at home I would have been able to use my many ‘sources’ to find out. Then, it occurred to me that maybe Shaymaas Sunshine might know something about them.
When I called to Sunshine’s, Shaymaas was in the middle of a telephone conversation. Even though I tried not to listen, I found his end of the conversation fascinating. He kept scrunching up his nose as if he was smelling something obnoxious and he referred to ‘eyes’ in a strange way. He saw how curious I was and when he finished the conversation he asked,
“Do you smell anything strange or see any spirits?”
I answered, “No, I don’t smell anything and I don’t see spirits or anything unusual.”
Shaymaas said, “When I’m dealing with spirits I get different smells, good spirits smell like flowers and evil spirits smell rotten. Are you sure you don’t smell anything?”
I shook my head ‘no’ as I breathed deeply through my nostrils. I could get the background smell of laundry, but nothing else. Then, he asked,
“Do you see colours or images of animals around people or places?”
Again, I answered no, and he went on to explain,
“When we first start to deal with spirits or the dearly departed our senses get heightened. The most common are seeing, hearing, feeling in that order. Smelling and tasting are not so common. Smelling odours and aromas that no one else smells was my trigger into the world of spirits. Over time my other senses became attuned to the spirit world, but from time to time I still need someone with ‘eyes’ to see.”
I interpreted his body language as a question and answered, “No, I’m completely normal, I don’t see colours or images around people; I don’t hear voices or strange noises; I don’t get strange sensations on my body; my sense of smell is bad at the best of times, and my taste is good enough to let me enjoy my food.”
Shaymaas said, “I don’t think you came here to talk about spirits. My spirits, guides if you prefer, are telling me that you are looking for information on your ‘circle of friends’.”
I replied, “Yes, I’d like to know more about who I’m dealing with in GF, and I thought that you may have some information that you would share with me.”
“OK,” he said, “Let’s start with Mi-Li-Sam. This is a bit tricky, my guides say that they can’t give you any information about them. Hold on, they are saying that they are not allowed because there is an almost total split between them and us. We are structured and hierarchical, they are a bunch of anarchists, if that is at all possible. We believe that the only way to get to Heaven is through Jesus Christ, they believe that God is everywhere and that you don’t need anyone, or anything to get you into Heaven.”
I said, “Thank you, I wasn’t thinking about Mi-Li-Sam, I was thinking about the people in GF.”
“Anyway,” Shaymaas said, “The same applies to Ruishk, which is not surprising, since Mi-Li-Sam appointed him as your guide.”
As he said this I got a buzzing feeling on the left side of my head, just above my ear.
He continued, “Even though none of us believe in coincidence, they find it a bit strange that Will, Darukin, Charlie and Smigs should all be in GF at the same time. It looks like they are there for you convenience. No, not convenience, they’re saying now, more for your re-education. What’s confusing them is that having five of you meet up is not the anarchist’s style, it’s more like our doing. As for Annorr, they are disgusted with her. She was destined for high places in their ‘organisation’ until she deserted. Anyway, as they keep telling me, God moves in mysterious ways.”
God and his ways again. This had always been used when a teacher could not explain a difficult religious concept to us in school. Shaymaas’s insistence in seeing this as an “us and them” conflict was beginning to grate on my nerves a bit. Then I reminded myself that I was here to get information, not to get into an argument with Shaymaas about spiritual hierarchies or the lack of them. So, I asked,
“Can you tell me anything about their personal backgrounds?”
Shaymaas replied, “Will was a highly trained psychoanalyst of the Freudian school. Many years ago he became disillusioned about what was happening and began to develop his own radical views about psychoanalysis. This led him into major conflict with the International Psychoanalytical Association. He was accused of having unwholesome associations with some of his younger female clients. To avoid a major scandal he was offered work in a secluded psychiatric unit. Over the years he has moved from one unit to another in many countries. His spirit was broken and he had no desire to continue playing mind games with the authorities, so he considered Ireland to be the most tolerant country he had worked in and committed himself to GF.”
I said, “That’s why he has such developed theories about the mind.”
Shaymaas nodded yes as he continued, “Smigs, Professor Sigsmig, defected from Russia to America because his views on religion were totally anathema to the ruling Communist Party. The Americans located him in the heart of the Bible Belt where his research into the scientific nature of the bible was seriously frowned upon. They couldn't send him back to Russia, and he wanted to live in a neutral country, so they agreed with the Irish Government to settle him here.”
Again, I got the buzzing sensation on my head.
He continued, “Darukin had a major meltdown during which his character completely changed. He believes that he is a walk-in and that he is being trained by angels and spirit guides to advance the scientific understanding of psychic phenomena and spiritualism.”
I asked, “What’s a walk-in?”
He replied, “A walk-in is where someone with little or no interest in living on this planet, surrenders his body to an entity, human or otherwise, who takes over completely.
“Charlie worked with shamans, medicine men and witch doctors all over the place. They believe that some of the hallucinogenic drugs he smoked or digested may have cracked his mind.”
He was sniffing the air and judging by the smile on his face it must have been one of his ‘good guys’.
He continued, “And that leaves Annorr, Hix, and Clivid. Hix and Clivid are just ordinary patients, nothing special, just can’t cope with the stress and strains of the “real” world. Just one thing you might be interested in, Clivid has photographic memory and if he has read something, he will be able to quote it to you word for word. He may not understand what he is quoting, but he will be accurate.
And last, but not least, Annorr. She is not a patient in GF. Just like you, she visits there from time to time. She leans more towards the Mi-Li-Sam camp. She started off her career as a nun who had trained as a medical doctor. One of her patients had asked her a simple question - “You’re a catholic, do the two snakes intertwined on the sword not worry you?” The question began to eat away at the back of her mind. It caused her enough doubt to look for an alternative.
She dabbled in a few complementary therapies, not finding anything that suited her until she came across Acupuncture and went to China to study it. The fact that her order had a mission in China helped, and she stayed there quite a few years. She explored Ancient Chinese Philosophy and Spiritualism and discovered that with Acupuncture she could treat mental and emotional traumas as well as physical problems. When she came back to Ireland she left the order, much to their relief, and set up her own private practice. Since then she has studied A Curse in Miracles.”
I interrupted, “Did you say c-u-r-s-e or c-o-u-r-s-e?”
He replied, “Miracles can be a curse, however, it was a course she studied.”
Again I got the buzzing on the side of my head. Shaymaas said,
“For someone who doesn't get spirit induced body sensations, you are doing pretty well today.”
I replied, “This is the first time anything like this has happened. What do you think it means?”
He said, “What do you think it means?”
I said, “I think someone might be waiting for me at the house.”
He said, “Then you better go home.”
I left and went to Usu Ilimmu. As I got there Ruishk pulled up in his car. As he was getting out of the car he asked, “Where have you been? This is the third time I’ve called to the house in the last couple of hours.”
I was tempted to respond to his question with a sarcastic comment but instead I said, “That’s funny, I had a buzzing sensation on the side of my head three times. That’s some coincidence. To answer your question I was down with Shaymaas Sunshine enquiring about the people in GF.”
As we went into the house, Ruishk asked, “Did you get what you want?”
I replied, “I’m not sure, the information he gave me seemed a bit far-fetched, and was crouched in conspiracy theory terms, us versus them, good and evil spirits. He seemed a bit amazed and perplexed that five people in GF were there for my convenience. I am slightly skeptical about what he told me.”
Ruishk said, “That’s good, be very skeptical about what we all tell you. In GF, the patients have a taboo against friends checking up on their history. Don’t mention anything about the research you were doing on them. The reason for their taboo is that the psychiatrists, during their periodic consultations, constantly refers to files which hold all their ‘history’. If they want to, they will tell you their own story. It usually takes a long time for them to build up enough trust in their ‘friends’ to tell them their intimate details. And, anyway, most of them are trying to drop their history and so are reluctant to talk about it.”
I said, “I see what you are saying, I won’t mention any of this in GF. I’ve studied many types of organisations and they are all based on hierarchies. Power and authority reside at the top and flow down or are stepped down through the ranks. Is Shaymaas’s hierarchy any different?”
Ruishk replied, “No, they all work on the pyramidal model and, for the most part, they all claim to have received their authority from God. Everyone knows their position and the further up the ladder the more power is granted and more access to information and decision making is given. Shaymaas is allowed to know so much, his ‘spirits’ decide what he is entitled to hear or see, and they have strict controls over what he is allowed to pass on to ‘outsiders’.
“They see you as being guilty by association, you know how it goes, ‘the friend of my friend is my friend, the friend of my enemy is my enemy’. You are not entitled to make up your own mind, ‘you are either with us or against us’. They are a little tolerant of you at the moment, because they believe that you haven't committed yourself totally to the other side. They are still hoping that you will drop your runaway madness and return to the fold.”
“Now”, I said, “You are beginning to sound like one of them.” And I realised just how easy it was to get caught up in antagonistic beliefs. We looked at each other and began to laugh. Then we both said together,
“Oh, what tangled webs we weave when we practice to deceive.”
And we laughed again, the laughter of innocence, of freedom from the chains that bind us, a good hearty laugh.
Ruishk said, “Enough of that, Will proposed a model for our minds. Rather than trying to see it as a multiple personality, let’s look at it as a single room. In this room imagine all your memories as objects.”
I said, “It would have to be a very large room.”
Ruishk said, “Then look at it as an enormous warehouse. Every idea that you have ever had, every memory is stored in it somewhere. You sit in an office overlooking it all. You are able to go anywhere in the warehouse, pick up an object and remember it’s story and what caused you to put it there.”
I said, “Based on my recent experience in GF, some of them must be hidden down there somewhere.”
Ruishk said, “All right, then imagine that certain objects have been placed in boxes. You can see the boxes, but you can’t see what’s in them.”
I said, “The storage space would be a lot smaller if I imagined them as files and folders in a computer. And the retrieval time could be much faster.”
Ruishk said, “That’s true, but we’re not looking for small or fast. I’m trying to get across how vast your mind is and cultivate a slow and steady attitude rather than fast and erratic. Now, close your eyes and imagine yourself cleaning everything out of the warehouse. Don’t take any time to examine the objects or to look in the boxes, just get rid of them.”
As I closed my eyes I said, “This could take a very long time.”
Ruishk said, “We’ve got all the time in the world.”
In my imagination I started dumping stuff, in the beginning it was slow. As I got over my reluctance to dump some of my stuff and my curiosity to look in some of the boxes I got faster and faster at it. Eventually, the warehouse was empty. I said to Ruishk,
“All my treasures, my clutter and my boxes have been removed, my mind is clear.”
He said, “Now take a good look around the empty space. What do you see?”
I looked around and saw almost total darkness. I kept looking and small pinpricks of light began to appear. More and more of them appeared until the whole space was full of stars. I heard Ruishk say,
“Don’t open your eyes. Keep looking straight ahead.”
As I watched I saw a doorway form. The door was closed, with a faint glow around its edges. Ruishk asked me to walk up to the door and to open it. As I got closer to the door, I began to get afraid. I put my hand on the door to push it open. My fear was getting intense. I couldn’t push the door open. I quickly opened my eyes and Ruishk was smiling at me. He said,
“That is the doorway to the Truth, or, Heaven if you prefer. Now close your eyes again.”
I seen that the warehouse was full again. I was not feeling too good. Ruishk asked me to scan through my body with almost ritualistic phrasing,
“Close your eyes, take your awareness and go through your body, remember what you are feeling where, and when you are ready, open your eyes and tell me.”
I scanned through my body from head to toe and toe to head and told him what I felt.
“There’s an intense buzzing in my ears, my lower back feels like someone stuck a knife in it, and there are pins and needles running down my legs.”
He got me to scan through my body twice more. When I was finished I did not feel anything in my body. Ruishk said,
“Congratulations, David, you have just healed your body. You have made it into the state we call “body neutral”. Are you still afraid?”
I said, “I feel a little nervous, but the intense fear has passed. I am getting curious about what happened.”
Ruishk said, “Let’s leave that for your experts in GF. Tell them your experience and let them explain it to you. You could also ask them about spiritual hierarchies...”
I interrupted, “I was planning not to go back near GF again. I found my last visit embarrassing.”
He said, “That’s all part of the undoing process. Your outburst did not really bother The Crazy Cabal too much. They are very tolerant and will never mention it again. In fact, they will all have forgotten it by now. So, the next time you go, put a smile on your face and whistle a happy tune - tra-la-la-la-la-la-lay.”
As he sang this he began to do some sort of crazy leprechaun jig around the room. When he stopped we were both laughing our heads off.
The next day I decided that I needed a good walk. I took out a map of the Cork and Kerry region and noticed that there was a couple of mountains about thirty miles away on the Cork and Kerry border with the strange name of the Paps D’Anu. When I arrived the tops of the mountains were covered in mist. Even though I told myself to take it slowly, within a few minutes I was walking briskly up the mountain. The air was clean and fresh and I was sweating quite a bit. I was really enjoying my walk and felt a lot of clutter lifting off my mind. When I got to the top the mist had cleared and I had great views over Cork and Kerry and could even see Limerick and Clare away in the distance. When I got back to the car, I could see why they were called Paps. The two peaks looked like a woman’s breasts with nipples pointing straight up into the sky.
As I drove home I decided that I would go into GF again. I kept saying to myself, “What have I got to lose?”
“You are now entering the what-why-how period of undoing all that you have learned. This has been referred to as 'a mid-life crisis' and 'the dark night of the soul'. You have woken up to the real purpose of your life. 'Crisis' and 'dark night' imply that we go through these phases quickly, but sorry, the realisation may be quick but the process of undoing is going to take some time, years and decades rather than weeks and months.”
That my reaction had been a ‘crisis’ was for sure, and I had gone through some ‘dark nights’ since then. I was reluctant to go near GF again. I began to ask myself who those characters in GF really were to be able to trigger such emotional reactions in me. I decided to do some research. I checked the local library and found nothing. I went into the city library and found nothing. I even checked the local newspapers’ archives and came up empty handed. I was wondering if these people had any history at all. If I had been back at home I would have been able to use my many ‘sources’ to find out. Then, it occurred to me that maybe Shaymaas Sunshine might know something about them.
When I called to Sunshine’s, Shaymaas was in the middle of a telephone conversation. Even though I tried not to listen, I found his end of the conversation fascinating. He kept scrunching up his nose as if he was smelling something obnoxious and he referred to ‘eyes’ in a strange way. He saw how curious I was and when he finished the conversation he asked,
“Do you smell anything strange or see any spirits?”
I answered, “No, I don’t smell anything and I don’t see spirits or anything unusual.”
Shaymaas said, “When I’m dealing with spirits I get different smells, good spirits smell like flowers and evil spirits smell rotten. Are you sure you don’t smell anything?”
I shook my head ‘no’ as I breathed deeply through my nostrils. I could get the background smell of laundry, but nothing else. Then, he asked,
“Do you see colours or images of animals around people or places?”
Again, I answered no, and he went on to explain,
“When we first start to deal with spirits or the dearly departed our senses get heightened. The most common are seeing, hearing, feeling in that order. Smelling and tasting are not so common. Smelling odours and aromas that no one else smells was my trigger into the world of spirits. Over time my other senses became attuned to the spirit world, but from time to time I still need someone with ‘eyes’ to see.”
I interpreted his body language as a question and answered, “No, I’m completely normal, I don’t see colours or images around people; I don’t hear voices or strange noises; I don’t get strange sensations on my body; my sense of smell is bad at the best of times, and my taste is good enough to let me enjoy my food.”
Shaymaas said, “I don’t think you came here to talk about spirits. My spirits, guides if you prefer, are telling me that you are looking for information on your ‘circle of friends’.”
I replied, “Yes, I’d like to know more about who I’m dealing with in GF, and I thought that you may have some information that you would share with me.”
“OK,” he said, “Let’s start with Mi-Li-Sam. This is a bit tricky, my guides say that they can’t give you any information about them. Hold on, they are saying that they are not allowed because there is an almost total split between them and us. We are structured and hierarchical, they are a bunch of anarchists, if that is at all possible. We believe that the only way to get to Heaven is through Jesus Christ, they believe that God is everywhere and that you don’t need anyone, or anything to get you into Heaven.”
I said, “Thank you, I wasn’t thinking about Mi-Li-Sam, I was thinking about the people in GF.”
“Anyway,” Shaymaas said, “The same applies to Ruishk, which is not surprising, since Mi-Li-Sam appointed him as your guide.”
As he said this I got a buzzing feeling on the left side of my head, just above my ear.
He continued, “Even though none of us believe in coincidence, they find it a bit strange that Will, Darukin, Charlie and Smigs should all be in GF at the same time. It looks like they are there for you convenience. No, not convenience, they’re saying now, more for your re-education. What’s confusing them is that having five of you meet up is not the anarchist’s style, it’s more like our doing. As for Annorr, they are disgusted with her. She was destined for high places in their ‘organisation’ until she deserted. Anyway, as they keep telling me, God moves in mysterious ways.”
God and his ways again. This had always been used when a teacher could not explain a difficult religious concept to us in school. Shaymaas’s insistence in seeing this as an “us and them” conflict was beginning to grate on my nerves a bit. Then I reminded myself that I was here to get information, not to get into an argument with Shaymaas about spiritual hierarchies or the lack of them. So, I asked,
“Can you tell me anything about their personal backgrounds?”
Shaymaas replied, “Will was a highly trained psychoanalyst of the Freudian school. Many years ago he became disillusioned about what was happening and began to develop his own radical views about psychoanalysis. This led him into major conflict with the International Psychoanalytical Association. He was accused of having unwholesome associations with some of his younger female clients. To avoid a major scandal he was offered work in a secluded psychiatric unit. Over the years he has moved from one unit to another in many countries. His spirit was broken and he had no desire to continue playing mind games with the authorities, so he considered Ireland to be the most tolerant country he had worked in and committed himself to GF.”
I said, “That’s why he has such developed theories about the mind.”
Shaymaas nodded yes as he continued, “Smigs, Professor Sigsmig, defected from Russia to America because his views on religion were totally anathema to the ruling Communist Party. The Americans located him in the heart of the Bible Belt where his research into the scientific nature of the bible was seriously frowned upon. They couldn't send him back to Russia, and he wanted to live in a neutral country, so they agreed with the Irish Government to settle him here.”
Again, I got the buzzing sensation on my head.
He continued, “Darukin had a major meltdown during which his character completely changed. He believes that he is a walk-in and that he is being trained by angels and spirit guides to advance the scientific understanding of psychic phenomena and spiritualism.”
I asked, “What’s a walk-in?”
He replied, “A walk-in is where someone with little or no interest in living on this planet, surrenders his body to an entity, human or otherwise, who takes over completely.
“Charlie worked with shamans, medicine men and witch doctors all over the place. They believe that some of the hallucinogenic drugs he smoked or digested may have cracked his mind.”
He was sniffing the air and judging by the smile on his face it must have been one of his ‘good guys’.
He continued, “And that leaves Annorr, Hix, and Clivid. Hix and Clivid are just ordinary patients, nothing special, just can’t cope with the stress and strains of the “real” world. Just one thing you might be interested in, Clivid has photographic memory and if he has read something, he will be able to quote it to you word for word. He may not understand what he is quoting, but he will be accurate.
And last, but not least, Annorr. She is not a patient in GF. Just like you, she visits there from time to time. She leans more towards the Mi-Li-Sam camp. She started off her career as a nun who had trained as a medical doctor. One of her patients had asked her a simple question - “You’re a catholic, do the two snakes intertwined on the sword not worry you?” The question began to eat away at the back of her mind. It caused her enough doubt to look for an alternative.
She dabbled in a few complementary therapies, not finding anything that suited her until she came across Acupuncture and went to China to study it. The fact that her order had a mission in China helped, and she stayed there quite a few years. She explored Ancient Chinese Philosophy and Spiritualism and discovered that with Acupuncture she could treat mental and emotional traumas as well as physical problems. When she came back to Ireland she left the order, much to their relief, and set up her own private practice. Since then she has studied A Curse in Miracles.”
I interrupted, “Did you say c-u-r-s-e or c-o-u-r-s-e?”
He replied, “Miracles can be a curse, however, it was a course she studied.”
Again I got the buzzing on the side of my head. Shaymaas said,
“For someone who doesn't get spirit induced body sensations, you are doing pretty well today.”
I replied, “This is the first time anything like this has happened. What do you think it means?”
He said, “What do you think it means?”
I said, “I think someone might be waiting for me at the house.”
He said, “Then you better go home.”
I left and went to Usu Ilimmu. As I got there Ruishk pulled up in his car. As he was getting out of the car he asked, “Where have you been? This is the third time I’ve called to the house in the last couple of hours.”
I was tempted to respond to his question with a sarcastic comment but instead I said, “That’s funny, I had a buzzing sensation on the side of my head three times. That’s some coincidence. To answer your question I was down with Shaymaas Sunshine enquiring about the people in GF.”
As we went into the house, Ruishk asked, “Did you get what you want?”
I replied, “I’m not sure, the information he gave me seemed a bit far-fetched, and was crouched in conspiracy theory terms, us versus them, good and evil spirits. He seemed a bit amazed and perplexed that five people in GF were there for my convenience. I am slightly skeptical about what he told me.”
Ruishk said, “That’s good, be very skeptical about what we all tell you. In GF, the patients have a taboo against friends checking up on their history. Don’t mention anything about the research you were doing on them. The reason for their taboo is that the psychiatrists, during their periodic consultations, constantly refers to files which hold all their ‘history’. If they want to, they will tell you their own story. It usually takes a long time for them to build up enough trust in their ‘friends’ to tell them their intimate details. And, anyway, most of them are trying to drop their history and so are reluctant to talk about it.”
I said, “I see what you are saying, I won’t mention any of this in GF. I’ve studied many types of organisations and they are all based on hierarchies. Power and authority reside at the top and flow down or are stepped down through the ranks. Is Shaymaas’s hierarchy any different?”
Ruishk replied, “No, they all work on the pyramidal model and, for the most part, they all claim to have received their authority from God. Everyone knows their position and the further up the ladder the more power is granted and more access to information and decision making is given. Shaymaas is allowed to know so much, his ‘spirits’ decide what he is entitled to hear or see, and they have strict controls over what he is allowed to pass on to ‘outsiders’.
“They see you as being guilty by association, you know how it goes, ‘the friend of my friend is my friend, the friend of my enemy is my enemy’. You are not entitled to make up your own mind, ‘you are either with us or against us’. They are a little tolerant of you at the moment, because they believe that you haven't committed yourself totally to the other side. They are still hoping that you will drop your runaway madness and return to the fold.”
“Now”, I said, “You are beginning to sound like one of them.” And I realised just how easy it was to get caught up in antagonistic beliefs. We looked at each other and began to laugh. Then we both said together,
“Oh, what tangled webs we weave when we practice to deceive.”
And we laughed again, the laughter of innocence, of freedom from the chains that bind us, a good hearty laugh.
Ruishk said, “Enough of that, Will proposed a model for our minds. Rather than trying to see it as a multiple personality, let’s look at it as a single room. In this room imagine all your memories as objects.”
I said, “It would have to be a very large room.”
Ruishk said, “Then look at it as an enormous warehouse. Every idea that you have ever had, every memory is stored in it somewhere. You sit in an office overlooking it all. You are able to go anywhere in the warehouse, pick up an object and remember it’s story and what caused you to put it there.”
I said, “Based on my recent experience in GF, some of them must be hidden down there somewhere.”
Ruishk said, “All right, then imagine that certain objects have been placed in boxes. You can see the boxes, but you can’t see what’s in them.”
I said, “The storage space would be a lot smaller if I imagined them as files and folders in a computer. And the retrieval time could be much faster.”
Ruishk said, “That’s true, but we’re not looking for small or fast. I’m trying to get across how vast your mind is and cultivate a slow and steady attitude rather than fast and erratic. Now, close your eyes and imagine yourself cleaning everything out of the warehouse. Don’t take any time to examine the objects or to look in the boxes, just get rid of them.”
As I closed my eyes I said, “This could take a very long time.”
Ruishk said, “We’ve got all the time in the world.”
In my imagination I started dumping stuff, in the beginning it was slow. As I got over my reluctance to dump some of my stuff and my curiosity to look in some of the boxes I got faster and faster at it. Eventually, the warehouse was empty. I said to Ruishk,
“All my treasures, my clutter and my boxes have been removed, my mind is clear.”
He said, “Now take a good look around the empty space. What do you see?”
I looked around and saw almost total darkness. I kept looking and small pinpricks of light began to appear. More and more of them appeared until the whole space was full of stars. I heard Ruishk say,
“Don’t open your eyes. Keep looking straight ahead.”
As I watched I saw a doorway form. The door was closed, with a faint glow around its edges. Ruishk asked me to walk up to the door and to open it. As I got closer to the door, I began to get afraid. I put my hand on the door to push it open. My fear was getting intense. I couldn’t push the door open. I quickly opened my eyes and Ruishk was smiling at me. He said,
“That is the doorway to the Truth, or, Heaven if you prefer. Now close your eyes again.”
I seen that the warehouse was full again. I was not feeling too good. Ruishk asked me to scan through my body with almost ritualistic phrasing,
“Close your eyes, take your awareness and go through your body, remember what you are feeling where, and when you are ready, open your eyes and tell me.”
I scanned through my body from head to toe and toe to head and told him what I felt.
“There’s an intense buzzing in my ears, my lower back feels like someone stuck a knife in it, and there are pins and needles running down my legs.”
He got me to scan through my body twice more. When I was finished I did not feel anything in my body. Ruishk said,
“Congratulations, David, you have just healed your body. You have made it into the state we call “body neutral”. Are you still afraid?”
I said, “I feel a little nervous, but the intense fear has passed. I am getting curious about what happened.”
Ruishk said, “Let’s leave that for your experts in GF. Tell them your experience and let them explain it to you. You could also ask them about spiritual hierarchies...”
I interrupted, “I was planning not to go back near GF again. I found my last visit embarrassing.”
He said, “That’s all part of the undoing process. Your outburst did not really bother The Crazy Cabal too much. They are very tolerant and will never mention it again. In fact, they will all have forgotten it by now. So, the next time you go, put a smile on your face and whistle a happy tune - tra-la-la-la-la-la-lay.”
As he sang this he began to do some sort of crazy leprechaun jig around the room. When he stopped we were both laughing our heads off.
The next day I decided that I needed a good walk. I took out a map of the Cork and Kerry region and noticed that there was a couple of mountains about thirty miles away on the Cork and Kerry border with the strange name of the Paps D’Anu. When I arrived the tops of the mountains were covered in mist. Even though I told myself to take it slowly, within a few minutes I was walking briskly up the mountain. The air was clean and fresh and I was sweating quite a bit. I was really enjoying my walk and felt a lot of clutter lifting off my mind. When I got to the top the mist had cleared and I had great views over Cork and Kerry and could even see Limerick and Clare away in the distance. When I got back to the car, I could see why they were called Paps. The two peaks looked like a woman’s breasts with nipples pointing straight up into the sky.
As I drove home I decided that I would go into GF again. I kept saying to myself, “What have I got to lose?”
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