Around the middle of the Twentieth Century child psychologists came up with the idea of 'dual unity' based on observations of children with their parents, primarily their mothers. This was a very special time for us as children. As far as we were concerned there was only one other person in the universe and we believed that we were totally special to that person.
As we grew older we discovered that there were other people in her life - maybe the arrival of a younger sibling or maybe we just began to notice that there were other people in her life.
We got to a stage where we were on our own. As we got older still we began to form our own special relationships, possibly in an attempt to get back the feeling of dual unity, of being the only person in the world that mattered to someone else.
Are we being selfish when we limit ourselves to special relationships? Yes! But these special relationships are where we learn most about our selves, where, when the going gets tough, we hang in there and ask ourselves the basic questions about life in this world and our part in it.
When I was growing up being selfish was regarded as the worst offence we could commit. The following two lessons from A Course in Miracles seem to be so selfish.
Lesson 315: All gifts my brothers give belong to me.
Lesson 316: All gifts I give my brothers are my own.
It sounds like everything revolves around me and, I suppose, if we regard ourselves as separate beings, and accept the idea of an omni-centric universe, then it does.
The lessons, however, are getting across a different idea. We are all one, there is no separation. So every smile we share, every kind thought we offer each other is shared with everyone everywhere.
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