David Narby - Chapter 5 - Personality Conflict

Everyone spoke very loudly at the same time. Some were beginning to shout and thump the table with their fists. There was a lot of anger and frustration on all the faces in the room. The door burst opened and the nurse came into the room, glaring. She didn’t say anything but her evil eye was enough to quieten every one down. Feelings of guilt and shame circled the room. Then she said,

“Mr. Narby, can I talk to you outside.” No ‘hello David’ or any other pleasantries. We went out to the common room, which was empty. If she was angry she was controlling it very well. She said,

“David, you have been using the therapy room for some weeks now, and up until today your ‘meetings’ have been very civil. Some of the doctors and nurses got concerned about what was going on in there today, what with all the shouting and banging.”

I started to explain what had been happening, but she interrupted me.

“We don’t care what you were talking about. Your Thursday visits have so far been very helpful to the patients. This is beginning to sound like a mad house. You need to get it under control.”

As she walked away I wondered if there was an implied threat. I took a few minutes to review what had happened in our session to cause such strong reactions. We had been talking about religion in general and the Catholic Church in particular. Someone had said that there was no scientific evidence for the existence of Jesus Christ. This had got Clivid all worked up and it had snowballed from there.

When I went back into the room everyone was quiet and a few were even sullen. I looked around and nobody was making eye contact. We were like a group of school children who’d been left alone for a few minutes and the teacher had come back and caught us misbehaving. I said,

“Let’s not start pointing fingers or trying to figure out who’s to blame. We need to come up with some system so this does not happen again.”

Will responded, “No, David, I think we better sort this out. That was quite a reaction you had to a simple statement. You are trying to sweep something under the carpet, something that I think you really need to look at. Explain to us what you think just happened.”

I very reluctantly agreed with Will, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to examine what had happened to get us all upset. I began to ask myself what had caused such an outburst. As I thought about it I realised that I could not recollect much of what had happened. I said,

“I remember Clivid staring fixedly into my eyes and I could feel him boring into my brain. He kept repeating ‘Jesus Saves’ over and over and this expression always annoys me because it is not true. And when I asked him to keep quiet he reacted and attacked me.”

Will said, “That’s not the way I seen it. Yes, I could see you were getting annoyed with Clivid, your face was getting redder and redder and your were clenching your fists tighter and tighter. Eventually, you screamed at him ‘Shut up you Irish Catholic bigot’ and that’s the toned down version without all the expletives. I asked you to relax and take it easy. That made you even madder and then you turned on all of us asking ‘who did we think we were,’ implying that you were somehow better than us. You also said that none of us were really in the position to talk as we were inmates here and you were the only one coming in on a voluntary basis.”

I was getting embarrassed and wondered if I had behaved like he said I had. I decided I’d better apologise so I went around the room and said I’m sorry to everyone and shook their hands. Some were a little reluctant to reciprocate but it did ease the tension somewhat.

Will said, “David, you have been going on like a College Professor, a bit condescending and patronising. You’ve set this room up like a classroom with you the teacher. We need to change that. We’ve all had valuable experiences throughout our lives, we need to pool our resources and share. Let’s rearrange the furniture and see how it goes.”

Under Will’s supervision we moved the chairs into a circle. A spherical light sat in the corner, and this we moved to the centre of the circle. The light was soft enough to be able to look at, and bright enough to make it difficult to constantly look at the person opposite. I was a little surprised at the circle layout, since the only time I had ever seen it used was at AA meetings. I asked Will and he replied,

“The circle is the universal symbol for people working together, as in a ‘circle of friends’. In a circle everyone is equal, there is no superior and inferior, and everyone has an equal contribution to make. The person opposite you acts like a mirror, reflecting back to you the things you really don’t want to see about yourself. And with the light in the centre we can all focus on the same thing.”

I said, “You have laid out twelve chairs, but there are only seven of us here, me, you, Clivid, Darukin and the three newcomers.”

Will said, “Well, let me introduce them to you. There’s Helen Hickey who we all call Hix; Smigs here who likes to think of himself as Professor Sigsmig, our expert on all things historical; and Charlie Casey, who believes himself to be the last in the line of Shamans of Ancient Mexico. And that leaves five free for those who are still to come.”

We all sat down, Clivid was sitting directly opposite from me, and if he was glaring at me I could not really see. Darukin said,

“When discs are arranged in a circle, it takes six to completely surround the seventh. When spheres are arranged around each other it takes twelve to completely surround the thirteenth. Take conception as an example. The current view is that all the sperm compete so that one can  fertilise the ovum. This is not true. All the sperm cooperate to get to the egg. When they get there they all dance around it until the twelve that are identical in size to the nucleus of the egg are touching up against its membrane. Then the membrane breaks and the twelve sperm completely and perfectly surround and merge with the nucleus. This is why twelve is regarded as such an important number in all the thought systems of the world, twelve hours of the day, twelve months, twelve star signs, and the twelve gods of ancient Greece and Rome.”

Clivid said, “There is only One God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth.”

Will said, “Hold on Clivid, there are a few things we need to get straight before we get into this discussion. David, do you feel guilty?”

I said, “I’m feeling both guilty and ashamed, as well as very confused. If your version of what happened is true, I have no idea where that outburst came from. It’s like a totally different ‘me’ had taken over, one that I’m not too happy about.”

Will said, “When we look at, or think about, each other we think that we are singularities, one personality per person. However, we all have multiple personalities. Most of the time one holds sway, but occasionally, and usually under stress, another personality comes to the fore. Most people keep within the range of acceptable behaviour no matter what personality is in charge. When we constantly go outside the range and can’t control them we are given the label ‘Multiple Personality Disorder’. Your outburst, David, was the equivalent of a two or three year old’s temper tantrum, but with a lot more power and venom behind it.”

Will then produced a diagram to illustrate what he was talking about. He said,

“We have organised this room with twelve chairs with the light in the centre. This room then becomes a model for our minds. For simplicity’s sake I have shown only twelve personalities, each of us may have hundreds of them in our minds. Each of the coloured segments on the outside represent a personality. The dark region between the outer segments and the inner light represent the veil of darkness our belief in separation puts between our personalities and the all-knowing mind which is the light in the centre.”

Will had gone silent. I could see what he was getting at, even though I could not figure out how we switched from one personality to another, or how I could have gone from my normally controlled self to the raving, ranting tyrant that he claimed I had become for a while.

Clivid said, “John 14.2, My house has many mansions.”

Will said, “My mind has many personalities. Some psychologists believe that they develop very early in childhood. When things happen to us that we cannot understand, our mind splits and we store the experience in the split-off part. If the experience is traumatic enough we store it in a compartment that we lock away from the rest of our mind. In fairy tales, this is the monster that gets locked up in the dungeon.”

Hix interrupted, her voice harsh and beating out each syllable staccato, “This is a load of horse man-ure. I am not a mon-ster. I am not a mul-tip-el per-son-al-it-y.”

Will said, “If we keep using the same emotions to get our way, like Hix is using her anger, then a dominant personality develops. We then think of this dominator as our total and only self. You, David, have developed a ‘reasonable man’ approach while your other personalities have been locked away.”

I said, “So, looking at your diagram, which box is my ‘reasonable man’ personality and is the ‘raving ranting tyrant’ locked up in the black hole dungeon?”

Will replied very quietly, “No, David, the black hole is associated with chronic depression. Sufferers of chronic depression usually see themselves in almost total darkness, cut off from everyone and incapable of making contact with anyone else. As we look at the diagram, your reasonable man would be associated with the golden colour, centre left and the other with the maroon colour, bottom left.

What got Hix going earlier and helped trigger your outburst was your description of your experiences since you made your great escape. I see these as examples of getting into the light, in the centre, where everything becomes possible.”

Hix interrupted again, “You are trying to come up with an explanation for the impossible. No one can fly and nobody can change shape. As I said before, David is hallucinating and trying to convince us that his ‘trips’ were real. He was on magic mushrooms, smoking grass or something stronger.”

I could feel the hackles on the back of my neck beginning to rise. I closed my eyes and watched the screen. I calmed down and decided to ignore Hix, rather than trying to defend myself and my experiences.

Smigs said, “If I may interrupt with a question. What has all this to do with the delightful conversation we were having about the history of the church?”

Darukin replied, “I think I see what Will is doing. We had to come up with some mechanism to overcome our personality conflicts, and before we decide on anything, we need to have an understanding of why and how we get into them.”

Will said, “Looking at the diagram we see that the colours on the left have a darker hue than the ones on the right. The ones on the left have some black in them to represent fear and guilt. The personalities on the left suffer from fear, guilt and remorse, whereas the ones on the right have no such hang-ups. They are righteous, believing themselves to be absolutely right and so have tendencies to be dogmatic and autocratic. The white personality at the top is the opposite of the black. People with this personality have total belief in their thought system and have zero tolerance for any idea or anyone who is not in full agreement with them.

Remember that we all have many of these in our makeup, they are a life long habit we have reinforced over many years. It’s just that we are inclined to use one  when calm and another one when stressed.”

I looked around at the others. Charlie was doodling in his notebook. Darukin had closed his eyes and looked like he had fallen asleep. Smigs was looking out the window. Hix was playing with her hair and Clivid was staring fixedly at Will. I seemed to be the only one paying attention, so I asked, “How do we switch from one personality to another?”

Will replied, “Our split-off personalities formed in the first three years of our life and are tied in with our basic ideas of right and wrong. Not right and wrong in a moralistic sense, but what was regarded as acceptable behaviour during those years. We developed a scale based on what our parents and minders thought of our behaviour. They reinforced this with smiles and hugs on the one hand and frowns and slaps on the other.”

Hix said, “Not everyone uses corporal punishment to control their children.”

Will said, “I know that, but the baby is absorbing everything, and knows nothing of the rights and wrongs of parenting. It learns by absorbing everything going on in it’s home. It has no ability to decide what it should take on board, it takes it all.

“By the time we are three years old we know what behaviours please and those that offend, what will be rewarded and what will be punished. As we develop further and move into the world we learn the socially acceptable behaviours. What we got away with at home, might not be acceptable in other people’s homes or in school. Moralistic values start to get attached as we learn right from wrong and good from evil. Most of this is still being absorbed.

“The crucial point comes when we are asked to review our behaviours and decide which were wrong, own up, and take our punishment, whether this punishment is mental, emotional or physical. We are also encouraged to judge other people’s behaviour, and this is one source of  our switching triggers. But, the major source comes from our belief that we must attack and defend, defend what we believe to be right and attack what we believe to be wrong.”

Clivid said, “Your talking about confession and spiritual works of mercy.”

Will said, “Yes, from a Catholic viewpoint, but it is universal in all religions and in all societies. We all learn to watch ourselves and to watch others. We’ve all accepted the idea of crime and punishment or, as Clivid sees it, sin and damnation. More importantly, we all believe that we have a right to defend ourselves when someone attacks us, or our beliefs. Today, David came under attack, he seen Hix as attacking his ideas and experiences and Clivid as attacking his beliefs about acceptable social interaction. He defended himself by adopting ‘attack as the best means of defence’. He tried his best to keep himself under control, to remain ‘reasonable’. In the end, he lost control and we all know the consequences.”

Clivid and Hix reacted at the same time.

Clivid said, “I behaved the way I always behave. I was not attacking David.”

Hix said, “I was expressing my opinion, and I wasn’t attacking him either.”

Will said, “I said that David seen it as an attack, not that either of you attacked him.”

Hix said, “David, David, David, this is all about David, you’d think there was no one else but David in the room. I’m angry and I know why I’m angry. When my parents died my brother put me in here against my will. There’s nothing wrong with me, other than I’d have got in his way when it came to divvying up our inheritance.”

Will reacted, “I’ve talked to you about your situation, Hix, many times. No matter how often I’ve tried to get you to see that there is more to you being in here than what your brother did to you, you refuse to look at it. When I try to get you to talk about your parents’ death, you go quiet and ignore me. A few times, I’ve pushed you harder, and then you just withdraw completely.”

Hix had gone deadly pale. Her expression was almost catatonic. Will came over to me and whispered that Hix had found both her parents dead in circumstances that indicated a suicide pact. I was shocked. Everyone in the room was looking at Hix. She had gone totally into herself. We all remained silent for quite a while.

Will broke the silence with a nervous cough and said, “Earlier, David gave us a great example of a temper tantrum child acting as an angry parent, using rage to try to control us all. We need to understand this. We are all grown-up here, but we need to learn to look at childhood experiences from the child’s perspective rather than that of the parents’. Let’s look at an example:

“We come across some new wonder as we explore the great outdoors. We rush in the tell Mammy, but she is preoccupied and she does not pay much attention. She is ignoring us, so we go and sulk in the corner. Most times this has worked and she gives us a kiss and a hug, and then we feel great again. This time she totally ignores us. We are left alone in our sulk. We begin to wonder … what have I done, Mammy is different, I must have done something bad. We go over to her and hug her legs. If she relents and pampers us, all is fine. If she brushes us aside, we feel abandoned and go deeper into sulk. Eventually, if our tendency is to be a victim, we roll up in a ball and fall asleep. On the other hand, we decide that the only way to get attention is to throw a temper tantrum. We may not get kisses and hugs but we will get attention of some sort.”

Hix had recovered her normal demeanour and said sarcastically, “Its all Mammy’s fault. That’s right, go ahead and blame the women for everything.”

Will responded, “I’m not blaming anyone, it’s just that years of observation of parents and children by highly trained psychologists, has shown that most of our behaviour patterns are picked up from our mothers. And, our personalities are formed based on these learned behaviours.”

The noise level in the common room was increasing. I looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was nearly 3:15, time for the afternoon tea trolley. Everyone left to get tea or coffee and some biscuits. When they cam back they had another woman with them. Will said,

“David let me formally introduce you to this lady. This is Annorr Quist. Annorr, this is David Narby.”

Annorr sat down beside me and was looking at Will’s diagram as she said, “The personality thing again. Will and I have had quite a few conversations about this. Will’s explanation of the state of our minds and our personalities is a good description of where most of us are right now. And I like his explanation of how we switch from one personality to another. He does not go deep enough.”

Will said, “I have included the light in the centre based on your input, Annorr.”

Annorr continued, “Our personalities are based primarily on images and bodily sensation states. These are all illusions, pictures of ourselves that we take to be real, when really they have no foundation in reality at all. We look in the mirror and we believe the image we see is us. We get a pain somewhere and we believe we are suffering. We look at each other’s bodies and believe that is the other person.”

Hix interrupted, “Try explaining that to the victims of a bomb attack.”

Annorr replied, “Hix, you always take things to extremes. Try and keep this personal. Speak from your own experience.”

Hix said, “I don’t want to talk about my personal experiences.”

I asked, “How do we get rid of these personalities?”

Annorr continued, “We think that we have offended many people in our lives, and we are often offended. As Will’s diagram shows there is a light in the centre of our minds. When we focus on the trauma caused by offence, we are stuck in one or other of our personalities. If we focus on the light in our minds we can get peace and happiness. We need to forgive our enemies and our near and dear ones for what we believe they did to us.”

I said, “That’s easier said than done. There are an awful lot of people I’d have to forgive.”

Annorr said, “You don’t have to forgive them all. Pick one enemy and look at the image you have of them. Think about the wrongs they have done to you. Keep looking until you can see some light in them, even if it is only the tiniest spark. Now look at someone you love. Think about the wrongs they have done to you. Keep looking at them until you can see the light in them. Now allow the light that you see in both of them to shine back on you.”

I said, “And that’s all there is to it. I only have to forgive two people by seeing the light in them. I don’t have to go and prostrate myself before them and beg their forgiveness.”

Annorr said, “That’s all, and you don’t have to bow down to anyone. You don’t even have to be physically present with them, look at them in your mind. Really see these two people as radiant beings, and yourself as well, and then you will be able to see the light in everyone. We are dominated by the idea that to get rid of something we have to kill or destroy it completely. Because everything is an idea, nothing can be killed or destroyed. Because our personalities are based on the idea of separation, when we fully realise that all minds are joined by the light, our personalities just disappear. When we switch on the light in a darkened room, the darkness disappears. When we allow the light in our minds to shine brightly, the dark images we have of others disappears and our personalities along with them.”

Clivid said, “John 8:32 The truth shall set you free.”

Annorr said, “That is true, Clivid. We ask ourselves what is the truth. Being in the light is our only reality. Thinking we are personalities leads us into illusion. We are as God created us. We are the Holy Sons of God Himself, the Christ in all of us. All God’s gifts are in our minds, always have been and always will...”

At this Clivid interrupted, “Here she goes again, the blasphemous WITCH, claiming to be a Son of God. God will damn you, woman.”

At that Clivid stomped out of the room. I commented,

“Well, at least he spoke in sentences, rather than in his usual biblical sound-bytes.”

Charlie said, “Everyone is full of their own self-importance today, it must be the full moon. We take ourselves too seriously. We are so important in our own minds that we feel justified at being annoyed with everything. As long as we feel that we are the most important thing in the world we cannot really appreciate the world around us. We are like blinkered horses; all we see is ourselves apart from everything else.

“A light and amenable disposition is needed. We get scared and quit because we feel too damn important. Feeling important makes us heavy, clumsy and vain. We need to be light and fluid. Certain things in our lives matter to us because we think they’re important to us. When we overcome this self-importance not a single thing is important any longer, neither our own acts nor the acts of any of our fellow men.

“We go on living because we have a will. Because we have tempered our will throughout our lives until it is neat and wholesome and now it doesn’t matter to us that nothing matters. Our will controls the folly of our lives. We believe that our acts, as well as the acts of our fellow men in general, appear to be important to us because we have learned to think they are important. We learn to think about everything and then we train our eyes to look as we think about the things we look at. We look at ourselves already thinking that we are important. And, therefore, we’ve got to feel important. But then when a man learns to “see”, he realises that he can no longer think about the things he looks at, and if he cannot think about what he looks at everything becomes unimportant.”

Some of us were scratching our heads trying to figure out what Charlie had just said. I asked,

“If nothing is important, then why do we bother doing anything?”

Charlie said, “We do things because we love to do them, not because we are trying to please anyone. The idea that nothing is important is intended to help us lose our self-importance about what happens to us or about what we do. When we think we are doing something because it's important we may be looking for fame, fortune and VIP status. This then implies that we have to please someone or many someones. The key is that we are not after self-importance or public recognition, we are enjoying our creative expression through being ourselves.

It was getting on in the afternoon and coming up to supper time. Will said,

“I think we better leave it there for this afternoon.”

They all got up, said their goodbyes and left the room. I was sitting on my own. Somewhere in the background I could hear Dire Straits’ Brothers in Arms. I was annoyed with myself, I was feeling frustrated, and I was beginning to get sad. I had been behaving like a WASP, a Wilful Arrogant Selfish Prick, as the lads here interpreted it rather than its usual connotation. This brought a smile to my face that did not last for long. I was getting sadder. Tears began to stream down my face. I felt someone gently lay their hands on my shoulders, and whisper in my ear to close my eyes, and let the tears flow. I could feel waves of pulsating heat coming from his hands, and all the tension in my body was easing. Again, he spoke in my ear,

“I am always with you.”

David Narby - Chapter 4 - The Crazy Cabal

I was beginning to settle down in Usu Ilimmu and had started exploring Ryarkanaglish. Even though my utility room was fully equipped with all mod-cons I was reluctant to start using them. While rambling in the village I had noticed a dingy alleyway and found a laundromat about half way down. It was called ‘Sunshine’s’, and I had started doing my laundry there. On my second visit the owner introduced himself as Shaymaas Sunshine. He was a small man with a pot belly who liked to go around with his shirt half open. I supposed that this was because of the heat. We exchanged some pleasantries about the weather and then he started talking about the Church.

“We are here to experience pain and suffering.” He said, “If we live good lives, according to the rules of the Church, when we die we will go to Heaven. If we don’t live good lives, if we commit mortal sin and don’t go to confession, when we die we will be consigned to the everlasting flames, the eternal damnation of unending torture by the devils in Hell. Venial sins are not so bad, we’ll only end up in Purgatory for those. And, if we have committed serious mortal sins, a simple act of contrition on our deathbed would get us into Purgatory and avoid Hell. Should we be unfortunate enough to die in an accident or a tragedy, then a passing kind stranger could whisper the act of contrition in our ear and we might go straight to Heaven, or only have a brief stay in Purgatory. Supposedly, everyone locked up in Purgatory would be released on the last day, the Day of Judgment. But, we could still be sent to Hell forever, based on how we got on at this final judgment. We can never be sure."

“God is always watching us.” He continued, “And if God was busy, then Jesus Christ,” as he said this, he bowed his head and thumped his chest, “was watching. They do not watch over us, protecting us. They record all our misdemeanours in a big book. When we die and arrive at the gates of Heaven looking to get in, this book is taken out and reviewed.”

I had heard all this before and was beginning to wonder was Shaymaas a little bit crazy. So I played along with him and asked, “How did all this work before there were books? Why has God not developed the technology to be able to do holographic 3D display in fast forward with stop and rewind for the really terrible bits?”

Shaymaas replied, “It doesn't matter how God knows. He knows. I see a small boy, about eight years old. He dreads Confession. It’s a Saturday morning about ten o’clock and he’s hiding out in a shed behind his house, knowing that everyone would think that he has gone out to the church early. Sitting in the shed is turning out to be worse than he had expected. He’s thinking that whatever his sins were, not confessing them will have him wind up in Hell. And even if nobody finds out that he didn't go to confession, there would be questions about why he didn't go to Communion. Anyway, after agonising over his decision not to go, and plagued by his conscience, he bolts out of the shed and charges all the way to the church. He makes it in time, just as the priest is about to close up, confesses his sins and gets his penance, which he duly says on his way home. On reflection, he concludes that being the last was much better than being the first, but he never has the courage to pull that lark again.”

As Shaymaas continued, I wondered what any of this had to do with me.

“If the cap fits, wear it. You look like a man that has lots of time on his hands.”

I replied, “Yes, I’m semi-retired and don’t have much of a routine these days.”

He said, “There are some people in the local hospital that could use some help, just a friendly ear to listen to their stories and woes. Are you interested?”

I said, “I might be. Do I need any qualifications?”

Shaymaas replied with a smile on his face, “No, you don’t need any qualifications, and you won’t get paid. The work is totally voluntary. It’s in the Regional Hospital, near Cork City, ward GF. Just go into the hospital and introduce yourself to the staff. They are always delighted to see people who amuse the patients for a while.”

Shortly after this conversation with Shaymaas I went into the hospital and after wandering around its labyrinthine corridors for some time, I found GF. To my surprise it turned out to be the local acute psychiatric unit. I introduced myself to one of the staff and told her about meeting Shaymaas Sunshine.

She started giggling and said in a derogatory tone, “Oh, yer man, he’s always pulling stunts like that. He was probably fooling you and pretending to know things about you that he gets from his ‘spirits’. He should be in here. He’s crazier than most. But now that you’re here you can go and sit in the common room. Don’t push yourself on any of the patients, allow them to take the first step. They are usually quite curious about new attractions.”

As I went to the common room, I was thinking that now I’m an ‘attraction’. What was I letting myself in for. I decided to give it a go. I was volunteering and I need never come back if I didn’t like it. The common room was a big open area divided into sections by armchairs. I chose an area with armchairs on three sides and sat on one facing the windows. It was very quiet, and might even have been peaceful, except for the screaming of a female patient in the distance. I closed my eyes and quietened my mind.

“Codish anam ditch” I heard someone very close to me say. I had no idea what he was saying.

“Codish anam ditch” I heard again and, opening my eyes, realised that the speaker was about a foot away staring down at me. I immediately stood up; talking to people at eye level had always been a standard interviewing technique. Before I could say anything, a man in the chair next to me said,

“Now Clivid don’t you realise that he doesn’t speak any Irish.” And turning to me he said,

“Don’t pay to much attention to Clivid, he’s our born-again bigot, even though he thinks of himself as a born-again Christian. He was asking you what your name is.”

“My name is David.” I replied, “I was talking to Shaymaas Sunshine in Ryarkanaglish and he suggested that I should come in here and talk to some of the patients.”

“And my name is Will, Will Helm. A good man, Shaymaas, one of our own. Most of the patients in here are short-term, only here to test their tolerance to their new medications. A few of us are here long-term, primarily because we are anarchists and don’t play the society game. We are seen by our family and ‘friends’ as troublesome and disruptive. We see ourselves as independent thinkers, but everyone else regards us as crazy. We don’t mind that, because from our perspective, the world is crazy, and being regarded as crazy by people who are really crazy makes us sane.”

I could follow his logic, and could see why most people would have difficulty with him. While Will had been speaking, Clivid had pulled up an armchair directly opposite, and kept repeating the Ten Commandments over and over.

Will said, “He’ll keep doing that until we engage in what has become known as our ‘New Arrivals Three Voice Initiation’. The fact that you sat here in the common room rather than in the visitor’s room means to Clivid that you are a new arrival. The best approach you can take is to sit still, listen and let me and Darukin over there handle the responses. Clivid calls out the commandment, Darukin reinterprets it and I give the underlying assumption on which the commandment is based”

At that, Will and Darukin pulled their armchairs in so close that our knees were nearly touching. The atmosphere was getting a little intense, and with the three of them boxing me in I would have had to jump over the armchair to get away from them. And then the three of them began to speak simultaneously. How I understood what they were saying I’ll never know.

Clivid began, “First Commandment: I am the Lord your God, and thou shalt not have strange gods before me.”
Darukin reinterpreted, “We are clearly mistaken if we think God needs our adoration or worship.”
Will said, “Separation is possible.”

Clivid said, “Second Commandment: Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord, thy God, in vain.”
Darukin responded, “What God is cannot be named. And since God could never be offended, we can call Him what we like.”
Will said, “Image, icon and language representations are real.”

Clivid said, “Third Commandment: Remember that thou keep holy the Sabbath day.”
Darukin replied, “God is always with us. Remember that every moment of our lives.”
Will commented, “God is special.”

Clivid said, “Fourth Commandment: Honour thy father and thy mother.”
Darukin responded, “Learn from our parents and teachers, learn not to repeat their mistakes.”
Will said, “Authority is right.”

Clivid said, “Fifth Commandment: Thou shalt not kill.”
Darukin responded, “We kill only ourselves, in thought, word and deed. Give it up.”
Will said, “Only what believes itself separate can be harmed.”

Clivid said, “Sixth Commandment: Thou shalt not commit adultery.”
Darukin responded, “We are all the Sons of God, in whom He is well pleased.”
Will said, “Separate bodies can.”

Clivid said, “Seventh Commandment: Thou shalt not steal.”
Darukin responded, “Nothing of God’s can be stolen. It can only be shared.”
Will said, “Anything can be taken from you.”

Clivid said, “Eight Commandment: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.”
Darukin responded, “We may choose to deny the lies or the truth.”
Will said, “Words have power.”

Clivid said, “Ninth Commandment: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife.”
Darukin responded, “Let her freely choose who she wants to be with.”
Will said, “Another human being can be possessed.”

Clivid said, “Tenth Commandment: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours’ goods. “
Darukin responded, “We have been granted access to everything that matters.”
Will said, “More and more can make you happy.”

The three of them looked at each other in sheer amazement. Will said,

“You’re a sound man, David. That’s the first time we have ever made it to the end. Every time we have done it before, the receiver has either shouted at us to stop, run away, or Clivid picked up on their inner turmoil and started ranting and raving at them.”

I said, “But, I’m not a patient.”

Will replied, “I know, but we have done it for some members of staff and their reaction has been the same as the patients’. The idea of three voices talking at the same time is to be confusing. The object of the exercise is to overload the brain with too much information and it either goes quiet or freaks. Congratulations, David, you remained calm.”

The common room was beginning to fill up. I saw the nurse coming towards us. She said,

“It’s coming up to tea-time and I think you better leave.”

I turned around to say goodbye. Will, Clivid and Darukin had gone to join the queue for tea so  I just waved at them. As I left, the nurse came over to me and said,

“That went well. The lads seem to have taken to you. You’ll be more than welcome anytime you want to come. We like our routines here so if you could come at the same time each week we’d really appreciate it.”

I said, “OK, I’ll come in on Thursday afternoons.”

When I got home I went to my meditation room. This was a room at the front of the house that I had dedicated to peace and quiet. As part of my daily routine I had started doing a meditation first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I was feeling quite disturbed by my experience in GF and decided that some quiet time might calm me down. On the wall opposite the window, I had hung a picture of Jesus Christ, the one developed by a scientist at NASA that had caused all the controversy. I sat down in front of it and started looking at it.

It was getting dark outside, and as the light faded I had to concentrate to see the picture. As I watched, the image in the picture began to change, different faces began to appear. Some were women, some were men, some had beards or moustaches, some were clean shaven. The images kept flipping from one face to another. After a while the images disappeared and all I could see was a misty blue haze. I panicked a little, blinked a few times and the image of Jesus Christ was restored. I kept watching. The same thing happened again, except that this time the images were going from left to right whereas the first time they had been going from right to left.

As the evening got darker I could not make out the image at all. I closed my eyes and began to wonder what was the matter with me. Could going to GF have unhinged me slightly? As I sat there, my mind became calmer and calmer. After a while I began to sense a presence in the room. I opened my eyes and turned around. Mi-Li-Sam was there. I nearly jumped out of my skin. My heart must have raced up over two hundred beats per minute. Of course, I was delighted to see them, but I had got quite a shock. As they just sat there and looked at me peacefully I calmed down again.

They said, “We sensed your turmoil, David, and felt that you might need some reassuring.”

I said, “That’s true, all the people I’m meeting talk only about the church. As a result of my visit to GF today, I thought I was going crazy”

They replied, “What they are trying to do is to introduce you to the basis of your thinking and to how ideas develop, mature, get used and abused. In the beginning, there is an idea, pure and simple. The idea enters into our minds where it germinates, gets formed with other thoughts and coloured by the individuality of the thinkers. These thought-forms are passed on to other thinkers with a more concrete outlook who grasp the main outline of the idea. They crystallise it and build it into a more definite shape which is more easily understood by the general public. The idea may then get an emotional appeal and becomes public opinion. By this stage, the idea has been stepped down, has lost much of its original beauty, and is not so pure and as lovely as when it was first conceived. It may have become distorted, but it is in public use and may still be used to convey a sense of the original”

They continued, “Let’s use ‘mind’ as an example. Mind is a word that refers to that which contains ideas. But mind is also an idea. So we have a paradox. That is only because we think that everything must have a platform to support it. Take computer technology as an example - there is hardware and software. The software needs the hardware to execute its instructions. The hardware is just a useless heap of materials without the software, and the software is just a long string of code unless it has something to run it.

“Likewise, we think that we need a brain as a platform for our ideas. Without a brain in a body, thinking is impossible. This is not true. There are only ideas, and for the sake of convenience we refer to the totality of all ideas as mind. So, in that sense, we can say that mind contains ideas, but not in the sense that a bucket holds water.”

This all made sense, but I was wondering what it had to do with my recent experiences.

Mi-Li-Sam continued, “Let’s look at your experience with the picture just now. When you first looked at the picture you saw a definite image. As the light level went down your mind began to sort through your stored memories and project them onto the space where the picture was. You went through your image gallery twice and each time at the end you saw a blue haze. This blue haze is the primordial energy of the universe and is the first manifestation of pure thought. It is in everything and everything is made of it. It has congealed, coalesced and concretised into everything that we think we now see in the universe. However, it is still there, and we can experience it in everything, just like you did with the picture.”

I asked, “And what about my experience today in GF, even though Clivid, Darukin, and Will were all talking at exactly the same time I heard them as three separate voices talking in sequence?”

They replied, “Your mind made three partitions and stored each of the conversations in separate locations and then played them back to you in sequence.”

And then the three of them burst out laughing. I couldn't see what they found so funny.

They said, “David, you always want to know how things happen. You’re getting completely caught up in the mechanism of how you heard and you’re paying no attention to what you heard. We’re laughing because you are inclined to believe everything that we tell you, whereas you are skeptical about what everyone else tells you. Always be on your guard, use your discernment no matter who’s talking to you.”

I said, “You mean that your explanations about partitions is not true.”

They said, “No, they’re true is some sense, but we want you to be a little bit wary of what you believe we’re saying. Your purpose is to clear your mind of the chaos of everyday life so you can achieve a greater state of peace and inner harmony. And you are getting on very well. The fact that you could sit through the initiation today means that you are getting in control of your thinking and are gaining a more peaceful perspective on life. Being in the moment, being present is the way to experience life. Try to understand that there is really no doctrine. Today, the Crazy Cabal gave you an example of an in-doctrinated view.”

They continued “Remember, everything is based on the mind, is led by the mind and fashioned by the mind. You have started doing meditation twice a day. Keep this up for a while, but remember that the purpose of meditating with a special set-up is that you learn how to do it. The real purpose of meditation is to live your life in a meditative state. Take many moments each day to enjoy the beauty of the view, whatever and wherever it may be, and rejoice in the relaxation it brings.

Our teaching is without scriptures, beyond words and letters, pointing to the mind-essence of man and seeing directly into our nature. There are no leaders, there are no followers, we are all experiencing this together, placing ourselves in a responsive relationship with the universe.”

I said, “I have a couple of questions. What is the essence of mind?”

Mi-Li-Sam replied, “The essence of mind is not born, so it will never die. It is not an existence, which is perishable. It is not an emptiness, which is mere void. It has neither colour nor form. It enjoys no pleasures and suffers no pains. The essence of mind is in everything, everywhere.”

I asked, “What is a responsive relationship?”

They said, “When, in conversation, if you are always thinking of what to say next you are not being responsive. You are not listening! Listen when you are talking; hear the words you say. Listen when the other person is talking; hear the words they say.”

I said, “But, the universe does not talk to me!”

They said, “Are you listening?”

And we all laughed. I thought about what they were saying. All my recent experiences had been reasonably easy, without any coercion. This was in complete contrast to the stories I had heard about esoteric students and sorcerer’s apprentices.

I asked, “Why is so much compulsion, and even violence, used to help aspirants to attain peace and joy?”

Mi-Li-Sam replied, “Some masters regard this as necessary because the ego’s stranglehold on perception is so strong and students are so hell-bent on obeying their domineering thought system that any means can be used to break it. Achieving All One Mind is just a simple matter of letting go or undoing our delusional attachment, and allowing the Holy Spirit to be our guide rather than the ego. Even though many have achieved it through the self-denial of pain, suffering, and sacrifice it was never necessary. We need do nothing! Look at the lilies of the field…”

Having spent my life being busy, the idea of doing nothing was still hard to grasp. Mi-Li-Sam were quiet. I began to wonder about Shaymaas’s story of the little boy. So I asked them,

“Does the story Shaymaas Sunshine told about the little boy have anything to do with me?”

They replied, “Shaymaas is guided by ‘his spirits’ and allows them to speak through him. They are not always right about the detail, but the message they deliver is always accurate. So, David, do you think that the message has any relevance to you?”

I said, “Yes, I had been a very spirited youth. At some stage in my thirties, I realised that my spirit had been broken. I had bowed down to the establishment. I was conforming with resentment and bemoaning my fate. Fortunately, I realised that this approach would only lead to depression, so I started looking at life with a positive perspective and got really involved in my work.”

Mi-Li-Sam said, “The Zen Buddhists use stories to get their message across. Tanzan and Ekido were once travelling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was falling. Coming around a bend they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross. “Come on, girl,” said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud. Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. “We monks don’t go near females,” he told Tanzan, “especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?”

“I left the girl on the riverbank,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”

I said, “I like that one. It reminds me of the crucifixion. The Jews, Romans, Essenes, or whoever it was, took Jesus off the cross nearly two thousand years ago. The Christians are still carrying him there.”

Mi-Li-Sam said, “David, what are you still carrying?"

I was perplexed at this question. Having given up my career and dropped all of my old routines I thought that I had left all of my baggage behind. I decided to be diplomatic and answered,

“Not much! I think I have left most of my baggage behind me.”

They said, “But you panicked a bit when you saw the blue mist, and you got very anxious when you felt our presence earlier. You are afraid of something, you are still carrying fear.”

I was getting ready to say that I was afraid of nothing, but they continued.

“David, don’t get defensive. You are still carrying a lot of fear based baggage. There is no problem with this, it’s a phase you’ll get through. No one can get rid of the baggage for you, you have to do it yourself. There is an exercise you can do every night before you fall asleep. It is based on the idea that sooner or later you will die, and like all great events in life, the more prepared you are for it, the better you get through it. As you fall asleep ‘watch the screen’ and try to catch yourself falling asleep.”

I said, “That sounds easy, I should have no bother doing that.”

Mi-Li-Sam said, “Now, David, we are going to leave you to yourself again. When you visit GF again talk to the Crazy Cabal about the bible, especially Genesis 1:27 and Luke 10:27. Now close your eyes.”

I closed my eyes and after a few moments I felt their presence leave. I wondered would I ever get it right. I heard three voices speaking together but my mind converted it to,

“Rome was not built in a day.”
“There is no time and space in eternity.”
“Mind is eternal.”

And then I heard beautiful peals of laughter. I thought to myself that maybe Ruishk was right when he called Mi-Li-Sam the Three Witches.

David Narby - Chapter 3 - Ryarkanaglish

As I sat there thinking could it all really be that simple, Ruishk said, "Well, David, you have had your first trip. Did that feel like work?"

"Of course not," I replied, "That was fun. I really enjoyed that."

Ruishk asked, "How much work did you have to do to achieve that result?"

I was a little perplexed by his question. I had just said that it was fun and there was no work involved. I said, "I'm not really sure that I understand your question."

He smiled as he replied, "I'm playing with the meaning of words. 'Work' has many meanings, and we usually rely on the context in which it is used to understand what is being said. You are thinking about work in terms of things you do or have to do, but I was asking about work from a scientific-engineering perspective."

I asked, "I realise that Scientists and Engineers work, but what has science or engineering to do with work?"

Ruishk replied, "Scientists and Engineers have definitions for everything. Nothing is left vague. They have equations and formulae for everything. Using work(W) as an example:

W = Fd
F = ma, and therefore
W = mad

Where W is work, F is force, d is distance, m is mass, and a is acceleration."

What was Ruishk trying to do to me. I just had one of the best experiences of my life and here he is talking about definitions I hadn't heard or used since I was in school. However, I was getting to know him and realised that he was not engaging in idle chatter. As I wondered where he was going with this, he continued.

"David it is important that you understand the experiences you have. For you to understand we must come up with explanations that make sense to you. To get explanations we will take ideas from any source. Here we are, on this bus travelling west. The bus has mass and needs an engine that uses fuel to make it move. Without going into all the technical details, the engine converts the fuel into motion, so we can get to our destination."

"So, where is our destination?" I asked.

He replied, "Let's leave that for a while, and let me finish my explanation. As I said, the bus has mass and a lot of work has to be done to get it to move. When you traveled through the air, there was no mass involved. It was not your body that was travelling. It was an idea, and an idea has no mass. When we put m = 0 into the equation W = mad the answer becomes W = 0. And because there is no mass to move no 'work' is done and no fuel or energy is required for you to move. This means that you can travel anywhere in space-time and with a simple flip you can also travel anywhere in time-space."

I was familiar with the expression space-time but I did not see that there was any difference in time-space except that the words were reversed.

Ruishk noticed that I had screwed my face into a question mark and continued, "We are used to thinking of space as 3D, the plane that we move about on and above and below; and time as always moving from past to future. In time-space, location is locked and we can move to any time - past, present or future. So if we flip back and forth between space-time and time-space we can be anywhere and anywhen."

This explanation made sense. My imaginary spaceship was just an idea and it could go anywhere in time and space. Ruishk had gone quiet, and I began to wonder where I could go. Could I go to the stars? Could I really go anywhere? I decided to give it a try and thought of the place I would most like to be, out in space far enough away from the Earth to be able to see it all. I closed my eyes and imagined what the Earth looked like from space. I watched and watched, but nothing happened. All I saw was the blank screen. Eventually, I opened my eyes. I was annoyed. What was the matter with me? I had flown off the bus and gone to that beautiful valley. Why couldn't I take the trip out into space. Was there some barrier I had to overcome, or some permission I had to get? I smiled as I realised that there certainly was nowhere to buy a ticket. I looked at Ruishk and he was smiling too.

He said, "We all run into that little difficulty at the beginning. It is your mind that has the power, not your ego. We might even say that 'your mind has got a mind of it's own'. What you were trying to do was ego based. And ego is loaded with limitation. So, in your sense of having work to do, your work now becomes 'undoing the ego' or dropping your sense of limitation. The other thing is, that in the early stages, you need someone to help you, someone with the same idea. This works on the principle - 'when two or more work together with the same purpose the result is magnified at least a hundred-fold'. So on your first trip I was helping you."

"Huh!" I said, "does that mean that I won't be taking any more trips? That I'm confined to 'our destination' until I've dropped all my limitations"

He replied, "No, you will be taking lots of trips, but you will not be able to program them. Your mind will decide when and where you travel so that you learn your lessons. Get used to it. Learn to enjoy it all. It's not out to get you. It's helping to get you out."

I asked, "Where is our destination? Where in that Emerald Isle of Leprechauns, Saints, Scholars and Shamrocks are you taking me?"

Ruishk laughed so loud that people on the bus turned around to see what was going on and in his best brogue replied,

"Erra me bucko, we'll be taking you to a little backwater estate on the banks of the Lee outside Cork City, where you'll be able to enjoy the famous Irish hospitality of sharing the parlour with the horses, pigs and other animals. You'll have a little thatched cottage, with a smiling Irish maid dancing attendance on yer good self day and night."

I said, "You're not serious." He had a dead-pan expression. "Does this beautiful estate have a name?"

He said, "The Anglicised version of it is Ryarkanaglish. The Irish name for it is 'Radharc An Eaglais', translated into English means 'sight of the church'. In light of your background, the initial work you'll be doing will involve examining your view of the Church."

"And seeing as you are getting into translations, what does your name 'Ruishk' mean? And do you have a surname?"

Ruishk replied, "'Ruishk' is my last name. My full name is Cara Druma Ruishk. I am named for a town in Co. Leitrim that my parents fell in love with. In English it is called Carrick-On-Shannon. Carrick' is anglicised 'Carraig' which means rock. 'Druma' is a ridge and if we change 'cara' to 'cora' it's a rocky ridge.

The word 'cara' means friend; 'druma' is back, ridge or wave; and 'ruishk' is poke, stir, vessel made of bark, or 'large tough person'. So combining these, Cara Druma Ruishk might mean 'a friend who stirs an empty vessel' or 'a large tough person who you can rely on as a friend'.

We call this the translation problem. But there is also the interpretation problem. Words have many meanings. Take 'will' as an example - "My name is Will, and you will be going against my will if you do not do what it says in my will."..."

Ruishk had trailed off into silence. He sat perfectly still, his back upright, with a faraway look in his eyes. I left him in peace and wondered what had happened to him. Was he sick? Did he have a heart problem or a stroke? After a few moments he began to come around. I asked,

"Are you all right? What just happened?"

He replied, "I'm great. I just got a message from Mi-Li-Sam telling me to stop waffling about language and get on with the real stuff. They know that I have a huge reluctance to talk about the Church."

I told him that I had written articles on all the 'Pillars of Civilisation', and that included the Church. He said,

"I've read your articles and they dealt very well with the organisational and political aspects of all the major establishments. But they did not deal with the people at the 'grass roots' level, nor how these people are controlled by the manipulation of emotions."

I said, "I was writing an objective account of these organisations. It was never my intention to delve into the mental and emotional aspects of the people that make up our Civilisation."

"And there-in lies the problem, you never got subjective about what was going on. You totally ignored the spiritual aspects of religion..."

I could feel my heart beginning to race, my face was getting red and my fists were curling up into a tight ball. I closed my eyes and told myself to calm down. Why was I getting so angry at this 'empty vessel' that was making so much noise?

"Anyway", Ruishk continued, "Let me tell you why I have such a problem with the Church. I was brought up to be very loyal, and I was loyal to my family and friends. The worst thing we could do was 'tell tales' on each other. So we learned to keep our mouths shut about everything. I mistakenly transferred this loyalty to the Church. As time went on I began to realise that it was a loyalty based on fear and I began to transfer it to all authority. The fear manifested as distrust and I became a 'rebel'. Everything that established authority told me I regarded as a lie. The down side of this was that I always had problems with management in any shape or form. The good news is that it made me learn to question everything and to try and understand what was going on beneath the surface or, you might say, to read between the lines."

I asked, "What has this got to do with me? I've never rebelled and I always got on well with authority figures."

He replied, "I know. What I'm coming to is that much later in life I realised that I had thrown away a lot of essential ideas. So, I went back over all the teachings of the Church and other Religions in an effort to reclaim the basic ingredients. What I discovered is that all religions agree on a very few basic tenets and that these were taught to us when we were very young. Unfortunately, these tenets are quickly covered over by the teachings on right and wrong, good and evil, and the correct way to live our lives so that when we die we go to Heaven rather than being sentenced to eternal damnation."

"Was the fear of being sent to hell on Judgment Day what bothered you?" I interrupted, "Or was it the more immediate fear of being caught and punished?"

He answered, "Both, there were so many rules and regulations that it felt like 'mission impossible' to live a good life. I suppose the big problem was 'fear of God.' So, I did a little experimenting. I went against the rules to see what would happen."

"And what happened." I asked.

"That was the point," He replied, "Absolutely nothing, if I did not tell my transgressions in confession, no one was the wiser. God never did anything to me, no thunderbolt out of the blue, nor earth opening and swallowing me up. I began to think that there must be something the matter with this all-powerful everywhere God."

I said, "But isn't the whole idea that God lets you do anything you want? He gave us all free will. We are free to do what we like and on Judgment Day God will review the consequences of our actions and decide where to send us - Hell, Purgatory, or Heaven."

Ruishk said, "Yes that's what they taught us. Lets look at the logic of it - God gave us free will - so we must be free. Yet here you are and you can't fly out into space and look at the Earth. So, you're not free, you're bound by something. Usually we think that the something which imprisons us is the body. But it is not the body, it is the idea that we are limited. When we look at the rules and regulations we realise that they are all geared at what bodies should do, how we interact with each other's bodies, what behaviours are acceptable, what we can and can't do, what we can and can't say to each other."

"How does this idea of limitations come into play?" I asked.

He replied, "When we don't abide by the rules and regulations we believe that there will be consequences. This leads us to being afraid of doing certain things and then if we do them we have learned to feel guilty. So to some extent our lives become ruled by fear and guilt. This is emphasised in many thought systems by getting us to do a regular review of our actions. This review usually focuses on what we have done wrong. It keeps us looking at the past. It keeps us comparing ourselves with some idea we have about how we should be. And it is this idea that limits us."

"What is the idea?" I asked.

He replied. "We believe that we are separate - you and I are separate from each other and from everyone and everything else. This idea of separation is totally dependent on the idea that we are bodies. All of the establishment views, the Pillars of Civilisation as you call them, are based on bodies."

"That is what we all believe." I said. "In all my years of education and journalism I never met anyone who advanced the idea that there was something more to us than brains and brawn."

"Therein lies the problem." Ruishk said. "You stayed within the boundaries, you worked within the box. Everything you have come across has reinforced this one central tenet of civilisation. And even though you say that you have never rebelled, that is not quite true."

I was getting ready to react again, Ruishk held up his hand and I stopped.

He said. "You've had many little minor rebellions, but none of these are of any consequence. They were just letting off steam. Your life was well-ordered, working on your long-term life plan and then, oomph, you disappeared."

When he put it like that I realised that in that moment in St. Peter's Square I threw away everything that I had been working for all my life. Wow, that was some rebellion. Ruishk was silent again, and I begin to think about what I had done. How was I going to live now that all my daily, weekly and annual routines were gone. I was going to have a lot of time on my hands. In a moment of panic I even wondered if I should go back.

Ruishk interrupted what were beginning to turn into morbid thoughts. "There's no going back. You made a life changing decision back there. It wasn't a spur of the moment decision either. At the back of your mind, something about your life has been niggling at you, off and on, for years. Your life map was all external development, there was no time in the plan for David to develop himself. There was no inner growth path. Your runaway decision allows you all the time in the world to look at life from a different perspective, and this is what we have set up for you in Ryarkanaglish."

I looked out the window of the bus and could see lots of green rolling hills of well cultivated fields. The signs we were passing indicated that we were getting close to Cork city.

Ruishk said. "We should be there in about an hour or so. That gives us time to clear up a few ideas. Earlier I mentioned confession and review. These are two of the conventional methods used to keep us stuck in the past. Our emphasis is on getting you into the present. We let life be your teacher. Memories and experiences from the past are going to surface but we do not deliberately go looking for them. The question we encourage you to ask is 'What is this idea trying to teach me?' or 'What am I trying to learn here?' Primarily, you will be looking at and learning stuff that you have either simply ignored or have rejected out of hand. We have stocked your library with books that you have regarded as alien, weird, or irrelevant."

"What kind of authors are you talking about?" I asked.

"People like Velikovsky, Von Daniken, Sitchin, O'Leary, McKenna, Casteneda ..." He said.

"But these are all crazies, totally discredited ..." I was going to add 'by the establishment' before I realised that he was trying to get me to look at a different perspective.

He continued. "There will also be some of the more interesting science fiction and fantasy authors included. There will be courses in Cork City that we think you'd do well to attend, 'Flower of Life', 'Mayan Calendar' ..."

"Hold on." I almost screamed. "Are you taking over my life? Don't I have any say"

He said. "These books will be in your library. These courses will be available. You don't have to read or attend if you don't want to. Your education and life so far have been totally one-sided and we are pointing out to you that there is another side and a different way of looking at the world. There are bookshops and libraries in Cork City where you can choose your own material. They are not up to the standard that you are used to but they are more than adequate for our purposes."

I saw a signpost for Ryarkanaglish as the bus began to turn into a group of houses, all very small and duplex.

"In Ireland," Ruishk said, "they are called semi-detached. You will be living in the one called 'Usu Ilimmu'. Your neighbours will have little or nothing to do with you. This does not mean that they are unfriendly, there has been a lot of changeover of ownership and they take their time getting to know strangers. The joy of it is that you can remain completely private."

The bus had pulled up at a house on a corner, opposite a small green area. I was standing up to get off the bus when Ruishk stopped me. He said.

"Hold-on a few moments. We have one final thing to do before you leave. Back then, when you tried to see the Earth I could have helped you. You had to learn that we don't always get what we want. In a body-based thought system we think that to get energy from other people we have to be present with them in the same space. In mind, there is no such limitation. You can tap into me, Mi-Li-Sam or anyone anywhere just by thinking about us. However, we all have to share the same purpose."

"When we start looking at the screen behind our eyes we get an afterglow from what we were looking at before we closed our eyes. This fades and then we get shapes and colours from our pineal gland. Eventually, and this can take quite a long time, we begin to see with our mind. While we are looking we have a tendency to engage our pattern recognition system and start putting names on what we see. This usually takes us out of looking at, and into thinking about what we are seeing, and how or why we are seeing it. Close your eyes and look at the screen."

I closed my eyes and immediately saw an orange glow. This began to fade and I saw bright different coloured lines like we see on a compact disc. Then, everything went black. Suddenly, I could see a disc with triangles around it. I was about to try and figure out what this was, but I remembered what Ruishk had said. I just kept looking. The disc began to have shapes and colour in it. I looked around me and all I saw was black with tiny dots of light. I looked back at the disc. It was the Earth. It was like the pictures I had seen but it was glowing and had triangles around it. After some time, I have no idea how long, I opened my eyes and I was sitting on the bus. I felt completely at peace. Ruishk was smiling and said.

"We won't go into explanations. Let's leave that for you to research. Anyway, here are the keys to Usu Ilimmu, your new kingdom."

"Is that it?" I asked. "Aren't you coming in with me?"

He replied, as he walked me off the bus. "No, David, this you do on your own. Remember, we are always available, all you have to do is think about us. Now, goodbye."

He shook my hand and I stepped off the bus. I walked around to the back of the house. There was an enclosed garden with garden furniture scattered around. I sat down on one of the chairs. I closed my eyes and listened. A great sense of calm came over me. And I said out loud, not caring what the neighbours thought "Yes, I am going to enjoy this."

David Narby - Chapter 2 - The Work Begins

I got back on the empty bus and wondered what I was going to do now. I walked toward the back of the bus. About half way down I saw a letter sitting on one of the window seats. I looked at the letter and realised that it was addressed to me. I opened it and with a quick scan I saw that it was from Mi-Li-Sam. My heart began to pound as I read it.


Dear David,


We will come into your life from time to time in physical form. You will carry us with you all of your life. Sometimes you will think clearly about us, but mostly, you will keep us buried somewhere in the back of your mind. At times you will doubt that the last three days (Yes, David, it was three days) ever happened. You will ask yourself whether you were dreaming, hallucinating, or even that we were figments of your imagination. Remember, we are real and your experience was real, the most real experience you have ever had.


Shortly you will meet your new teacher, or guide if you prefer to think of him that way. He is twenty years older than you, but he looks younger. His experience of life has been somewhat similar to yours but from a completely different perspective. While you have been working mainly with the ruling class, he has spent his life with the lower classes. While you have been very successful, even famous, he has never achieved any recognition for his work. He regards himself as a very successful failure.


Don't let his initial approach fool you. He has tried many different styles to get his message across. His preferred one at this stage is 'The Fool'. He finds that with this style people can take him or leave him. He is sure of his message and speaks in a totally confident way. He puts a smile on his face, pretends that he is lying or telling tall tales and tells you the absolute truth. This allows him to be direct.


He has spent his life studying people. He knows that when he meets someone for the first time he will only get three seconds of their full attention. After those three seconds, if he hasn't hooked the person, he moves on. He never engages in idle chatter.


He knows nearly as much as we do but, whereas we will tell you directly, he will get you to figure it out for yourself. He will want you to learn your own lessons. He will help you, but he will not carry you.


On a practical note, no one will recognise you as the famous reporter. Rather than going home to America, your guide will help you set up your new home in Ireland. In ancient times Ireland was known as the Island of Saints and Scholars. Now, however, they are rushing headlong into a materialistic culture. Despite this they are still a spiritual people with a very high tolerance. Even though you will introduce yourself as David Narby, and bear a striking resemblance to him, you will not be recognised as him. This will bother you a bit in the beginning, but later you'll really appreciate the freedom it gives you to be yourself.

Yours, in love, light, life, always,

Sam-Li-Mi

PS. Your new guide is not 'the older man' you met in St. Peter's Square.




The bus was beginning to fill up again. I sat down on the seat where the letter had been. I read it over and over. A deep feeling of sadness came over me. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. I didn't care who was looking at me. Sam-Li-Mi was gone. Would I ever know such total peace and acceptance again.


"Hello, my name is Ruishk"


I looked up to see a smiling face with his hand outstretched in greeting.


"Hello, my name is Ruishk"


What did he want me to do. Couldn't he see the state I was in.


"Hello, my name is Ruishk"


He was still standing there, smiling, waiting. I realised that he was introducing himself.


I said, "Hello, my name is David," and shook his hand.


"I see that you have met the Holy Trinity" he said, as he sat down beside me with a big smile on his face and nodded in the direction of the letter.


I didn't know how to react or what to say. Was he being blasphemous or was he referring to Mi-Li-Sam?


"Yes, David Narby, you are my next assignment," and he laughed. "I met the Three Witches after they left you and they directed me here."


"So, you are my new guide?"


"Well, we'll see about that", he said as he handed me my notebooks and pens. "I picked those up for you on my way here. The other stuff I left behind as you won't be needing it any more. There's a few things we need to get straight. Take a while to define your world view, how you see what's going on in the world."


I began to think and listed the following premises in my notebook.

• The world is objective. No matter how you look at it, it remains the same.
• The world is black and white, us and them, leaders and followers. If you are not with us then you are against us. It is very important to join up with the right company.
• There are only right answers. Even though they may be wrong those with the most authority decide “right”. Those who have the best “defence system” determine authority.
• Right and wrong, good and evil do not sit side by side; they are poles apart. All concepts have to be placed at either extreme.
• People have to be lead; otherwise nothing will get done. Strong authority figures are essential for maintaining the system.
• The best form of defence is attack. If you know that you are not going to win the argument, then get angry and make your opponent back down. If your antagonist does not back down keep getting more aggressive. In the extreme, be prepared to use violence to get your way.
• Death is real. The only way to get into Heaven is to die. The prerequisite for entry is to have lived a good life in accordance with the prevailing rules for “good”. Not complying with the rules means that you are sent to Hell. Heaven and God are very far away, and not really relevant in a day-to-day existence.
• Approval is required from others, especially from family and friends, and to a lesser extent from society at large.
• Not only can you teach others lessons, you must. You have a moral obligation to point out other’s faults and teach them what the right behaviour or thought pattern is.

I showed my list to Ruishk and he nodded saying, "Yea, that about sums up the dominant world-view. There is another view, and the key question becomes 'Is it useful?' Not 'Is it right or wrong?'” With that he listed out what he regarded as the premises:

• The world is what we make it. It is totally subjective and depends entirely on what we think we are looking for.
• The person doing the deciding can only decide how useful anything is. There are no right or wrong answers.
• What you seek you find! What you see is what you get! Look for injustice and you will find it, it is everywhere in this world. Look for peace and you will find it, it is everywhere.
• There are no extremes; everything is beside everything else. We are all in this together. There is no right or wrong, there is no good or evil.
• Mind is everywhere, the still silent source at the back of it all. The ego is that part of mind that believes it is separate, and that it's limits are the limits of the body. Spirit is the activating agent of mind. Soul is ego after we drop the body, if we haven’t dissolved the ego before then.
• God and Heaven are in, around and with us all the time. They are all-inclusive, but cannot interfere with our decision to exclude ourselves from them.
• There is no death, but there is a belief in death. The body is immortal and can be dropped at any time, either temporarily or permanently.
• There is no disease, no problem, no sin, no karma. There are people learning lessons, and learning to become free of the set of limitations we have imposed on ourselves.
• There is only one commandment – “Love Yourself!” Unless you love yourself, you cannot love anyone else. You can only give what you’ve got. Lessons can be shared, but you cannot teach anyone else their lessons. Ideas are reinforced by giving them away.

As I read through his list I thought, this guy is crazy. And then I remembered that Mi-Li-Sam said that my new guide would come across as a fool.


I looked up at him and he was smiling as he said, "Quite a difference there, Davy boy. There's no sense in us trying to decide who is right and who is wrong. That will only get us bogged down in conflict. Let's just accept that they are two world views. You don't have to accept mine and I don't have to accept yours. But ask yourself one question 'Are you happy and in peace?' And there is no need to tell me your answer."


I remained silent for a while. And then he continued:


"Anyway, we need to get you thinking and having some new experiences. Mi-Li-Sam told you that your real work is just beginning. How do you define work?"


"Work," I said. "Is a job you go to, and get paid for."


He replied, "And pay taxes on your earnings. You used to work as a journalist. What did your father and mother think of that decision?"


I had to think about this for a while. Our family had long been land owners, and the first son always got the land. I, being the second son, like previous generations of second sons, was expected to get a leadership position in church or state. My decision had not sat well with my parents, particularly my father. And my mother would have loved me to have gone for the church.


"My father was very angry and my mother supported him," I said. "Even though my father read the paper cover to cover every day of his life, he did not like journalists. He regarded them as a bunch of drunken, lazy bastards that sat around all day making up lies. When I asked him why he read the paper he said that he needed to keep an eye on what was going on and how it might affect our business."


Ruishk asked, "So, why did you become a journalist?"


I replied. "Mainly, because I wanted to travel and see the world and meet lots of different and interesting people. And all my life I had watched the workers on our land coming to work as if they were going to be executed, and the worshippers going to church as if they were going to be damned. I did not want to spend the rest of it either managing or leading them."


"But you did see managing or leading people as work?" He asked.


"Of course it's work, very hard work. It isn't physical labour, there is a lot of stress, and it takes a lot of energy," I said


"But how do you think the workers see your type of work?" He asked.


"They see us as sitting around, doing nothing, while they break their backs working," I said.


"So they think they are working, and you think you are working, but you are both doing totally different types of work."


And then he asked. "Did you play sports when you were younger?"


I replied, "Yes, I played all kinds of sports and really enjoyed them. I loved football and was tempted to become professional."


He asked, "Did you regard sports as work?"


I said, "Of course not, they were fun."


"And if you had become a professional footballer, would that have been work?" He asked.


"Well, Yes" I said.


"What was fun when you were younger, becomes work as a professional. What's the difference?" he said.


"Because I'd have been paid as a pro," I said.


"But the only difference is that you are getting money. So you see work as something you get paid for." And then he continued:


"We need to expand this quite a bit. You are always working. Even when you are asleep you are working. Your body is always working. In fact, if any of the major organs of the body stop working, you are out of here. You are always thinking and we regard this as work. When you are asleep you are either dreaming or thinking. No matter what you are doing some part of your body is working. And, of course, your mind is always working."


This Ruishk was getting really hard to take. He started talking to someone in the seat next to him, and I began to wonder if there was any sense in what he was saying. After a while, I began to realise that he might be right. When he turned back, I asked him,


"So, if  we are always working when do we get time to relax and enjoy ourselves?"


He said, "We don't. But then we don't have to. Work as you have known it, has always been stressful and made you tired. We enjoy the work we do, and having accepted that we are always working, we are always enjoying ourselves. Really, it boils down to the purpose of the work you do, and whether you see yourself as being used by someone else or see the work as beneficial to you."


And then, out of the blue, he asked. "Did you ever want to be an astronaut?"


I replied. "In college I went through a barrage of tests, but I didn't meet NASA's stringent requirements, so I couldn't become an astronaut."


There was a debate back in the beginning of the space age whether it would be better to send people into space or to send probes that sent back information. In retrospect, both approaches were adopted. I had interviewed many people about this but all I could remember was the following story:


"At the beginning of the space shuttle era, I had interviewed a senior executive of Spar Aerospace, Edmonton; the Canadian company that made the arm for the shuttle. The interesting thing about the arm was the delivery. Four forty-foot articulated trucks were used to bring the arm from Spar to NASA. The first one contained the arm, the following three contained the paperwork history of every component that was used in it's construction. I later interviewed a Director of Aerospatiale, in Toulouse, France and he told me a similar story but with a completely different ending. Their product (classified) was delivered to Russia with only one sheet of paper. This sheet stated that everything was in perfect working order and was signed by the Director. I asked him what happened if anything went wrong. He didn't say anything but mouthed what looked like KGB as he swiped his hand across his throat."


Ruishk laughed his head off and I asked him what is so funny? He said,


"I like the French approach better than the American one. But I'm laughing because your story has another deeper meaning that you may not be aware of."


"And what might that be?" I asked a little irritated. Did he take anything seriously?


Ruishk replied, "You look like you are carrying three articulated trucks of baggage behind you. You'll have your work cut out for you in sorting it all out. We accumulate truck loads of memory that may be true or false. These have to be reviewed and verified to make sure we have the right interpretations."


He asked again "Did you ever want to be an astronaut?"


Of course I had wanted to be an astronaut. Every kid I knew wanted to fly into space.


He asked again "Would you like to fly into space?"


Was he reading my mind? I said. "I'd love to fly into space. But I can't because I don't meet the physical, mental and emotional requirements for an astronaut."


He said. "That was the trouble with that debate, they only looked at two options, bodies or probes. There was, and still is, a third option."


"Really!" I said. "A third option, I'm sure, with all the Space Companies around the world, that they have explored all the options for getting us into space."


Ruishk replied. "They have explored all the options for getting bodies into space. But they haven't explored any of the options for getting us into space."


I felt like cursing and swearing. This guy was really crazy. But I calmed down and very slowly and deliberately asked him.


"What is the difference between 'getting bodies into space' and 'getting us into space'?"


He said. "Well done, David, you have asked the right question at last. We have super-intelligent bodies, but we are not bodies. We are mind. As mind we can go anywhere we want. So, now I am going to help you make your own personal tiny little 'space-ship'."


I decided to play along and said "OK, beam me up, Ruishk"


He explained. "Around each of us there is an energy field that manifests as a sphere. I want you to imagine yourself taking an almost infinitesimal part of this energy and make it into a bubble, a very small bubble, so small you would need to magnify it a billion times to even see it as a tiny dot. So now, close your eyes and put your awareness into the bubble. And let go. But before you go, if you find your self in difficulty, just say 'home' and you will be back here in your body."


At first nothing happened, and then I found myself flying. Over trees, fields, lakes, rivers and mountains I found myself moving until I came to a beautiful valley. I stopped and watched. There were clear blue skies, but as time went by the clouds steadily built. They heaped on top of each other getting ready for a wild stormy shower.  The wind was quite strong and all the trees were being blown about, swaying to and fro in a happy dance in appreciation of the coming rain.  The sea was a pensive grey, reflecting the emotions of the sky.  It was amazing to be looking down on the world. I felt myself moving toward the storm and then from somewhere I heard the word 'home'. I was back in my body, on the bus.


Ruishk said, "I called you 'home' because I don't thing you are ready yet to take on that storm."


I said, "If this is work, let the work begin."